I wished I were born with the conscious ability to control my ejaculation.
But I was not. And if this surprises you, no one was.
Some men are lucky enough to quickly get the hang of the “situation” in their first sexual encounters and naturally develop sexual patterns which lead them to control, some other men find themselves with premature ejaculation instead.
Premature Ejaculation and Willpower
“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” Jawaharlal Nehru
How do you want to play your hand?
Day-dreaming of the magic day when things fix themselves distracts you from the hard work you actually need to get results.
If you think can’t do it because you’re too old, too tired or too busy finding excuses, ejaculatory control is not for you.
I practiced being aware of my arousal, I built resistance in my body, I balanced my pelvic floor and trained it hard, I studied how ejaculation works and how the sexual energy moves in my body and much more.
I made, built, created myself as a man in control.
Am I better than you?
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”
To Stop Premature Ejaculation You Need to Work Hard
Despite what you may think, almost any great life-changing event, achievement or success doesn’t start in the place where you see it happening.
No, the stuff that changes your life takes place backstage, where nobody can see it but you.
Long hours spent feeding your imagination with success and positivity, wearing days training hard to balance your muscles and becoming self-aware of your arousal, afternoons spent understanding how ejaculation works… this is the raw material of ejaculatory control.
Before spending time studying your partner’s clitoris or G-spot, study your own body, learn exactly what happens when you’re aroused and get an erection (I have a full section with pictures in my program The 47 Hour Premature Ejaculation Cure which explain this).
Invest in yourself first and soon you and your partner will both lie tired on your bed with big smiles on your faces.
Sometimes while fighting your urge to come during an edging exercise or struggling to keep your mind on your sensations, you’ll be tempted to give up and go back to your old lifestyle of continuous ejaculation, porn and anxiety.
Maybe you’ve broken up with your girlfriend or are overloaded with work and simply can’t envision the powerful rewards that this mental (concentration on your sensations, awareness of your arousal patterns, urge control) and physical (pelvic floor balance, threshold raising) training is going to give you.
Keep a few things in mind:
1) When possible go the extra mile, keep training and make time for your exercises. Often, particularly with ejaculatory control, it’s easy to give up if you’re stressed or don’t have a partner to please. Don’t do it. It takes time for your nervous system to rewire, raise your threshold and put you in control of your arousal. Also remember that your hot new partner might be around the corner. In fact, they always are.
2) When it’s not possible to keep practicing because something big happens in your life and takes your full attention, find some spare time for a light alternative training. Keep your goal of lasting longer alive in the back of your mind. Resistance training (like the 4 week “Pure Resistance training” in my program The 47 Hour Premature Ejaculation Cure) are easy to quit since they require lots of concentration and will power, but they’re also the ones that can change your sex life forever. Be generous with yourself, be an egoist and keep training at least once a week.
3) When you really can’t train because something huge has happened, accept it and take the free time you need to solve your problems. But hate me now, even if you can’t train physically you can still do it mentally. Keep envisioning yourself thrusting into your lady for hours in total control and confidence, rehearse your success in your mind like top athletes do. This will accelerate your improvement once you start your masturbation training again.
Maybe it’s silly to expect someone with premature ejaculation to focus on their goal of ejaculatory control when the circumstances are difficult.
But it’s in these tough moments that you shape your destiny.
5 Habits of Premature Ejaculators and Conscious Ejaculators
The habit of getting over-aroused before sex
The habit of masturbating quickly without awareness
The habit of tensing the muscles of their body in reaction to stimulation
The habit of responding to out-of-control arousal with increased stimulation
The habit of complaining about premature ejaculation as if nothing can be done
The habit of taking total responsibility for their results
The habit of training their ejaculatory control with determination and perseverance
The habit of approaching sex with confidence
The habit of acting in the bedroom with the calm of one who owns the world
The habit of learning from their mistakes and adapting to find what works best for them
What is a habit?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
“A habit is an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary”
A habit is basically a routine that you do automatically without being aware of it and which becomes easier to do the more you do it.
You were not born with these habits, they are not part of who you are. These habits are something you do, you learnt them somewhere and somehow.
Each of these habits can be changed.
So can your life.