The 19 Best Fleshlight Girls 2024: Which One Is YOUR Favorite?

kendra sunderland angel

This morning, I got to explain to my mom what a Fleshlight was. I’ve never been ashamed of my job (it’s pretty cool, actually), but describing a rubber vagina to my mother is not what I would call a good time. 2/5 stars, would not recommend.

What I DO recommend, however, is that you try a Fleshlight.

Look, it’s not like a classic hand wank is ever going to get out of style, but perhaps it’s time to give that crusty old masturbation sock a rest.

Top 3 Fleshlight Girls

  1. Riley – Can be addictive…
  2. Mia – Mia Malkova. Enough said.
  3. Stoya – Some love her, some don’t, but they all bang her

We went all out and reviewed 19 more Fleshlight girls!

Be open to life’s possibilities, go get laid!

Or at least diversify the wanking menu a little bit.

And no, I don’t mean wanking with your left hand for a change, or doing it with a numb hand. I mean welcome a silicone helper into your bedroom (or bathroom, I guess). I’m talking about your favorite Fleshlight Girl.

But before we move on to the juicy stuff – I’ll give you a subtle spoiler: EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT! PORNSTAR VAGINAS RIGHT HERE TODAY – let’s go through a lighting bonus round of questions:

Is it ok if I use a Fleshlight when I’m in a relationship?

Hey, masturbation is separate from sex and your business entirely, so as long as your sex life doesn’t suffer, I say go at it. Whether you tell your significant other or not is between you and her.

I’m personally all for my partner rubbing one out, but there’s something about paying for a replica of someone else’s vagina that pushes this into…something else.

Is it cheating? No.

Would I be offended, anyway? Maybe.

Does a Fleshlight really feel better than the real thing?

absolutely not gif

Look, I’m gonna give it to you straight: if any sex toy manufacturers or reviewers, for that matter, tell you that Fleshlights are better than sex, they’re not to be trusted and you have my permission to smack them over the face with a dildo.

No rubber vagina is better than the real thing, and I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, man. If you’re still debating, then stop reading right now and go find a real woman. Or pay for one.

Does this Fleshlight look a little creepy to you?

Well, in the cold, harsh, unflattering light of day, once the passion is spent, and it’s sitting there – there’s no delicate way to put this – full of spunk, you may say that a Fleshlight is…interesting-looking. Anatomically correct, but looks off just enough to veer into Uncanny Valley territory. Just masturbate with your eyes closed.

Okay, enough foreplay.

Let’s talk about why you’re REALLY here – the pornstar sleeves. There are 34 Fleshlight girls in total, but today, we’re only going to dissect the best of the best, so I’m gonna do a round-up of the top 19.

Just to make one thing clear – when they say they’re modeled after pornstars, they’re talking about the vulvas on the outside, not the inside. I promise you, no human vagina comes patterned like that on the inside.

Yes, I’ve checked.

The other thing you need to know is that most of these ladies actually come with two sleeve varieties: one mimicking their vagina (Lady sleeve) and one mimicking their anus (Butt sleeve). I’m only going to pick one for each lady today, but of course, you’re free to explore all the pleasures the other texture varieties offer.

Now, let’s talk about some pocket pussy. (Or ass, I guess)

STOYA: Destroya (Lady sleeve)

stoya

View some awesome photos of Stoya

What you’re getting: While we’re not placing these in any particular order, we ARE going to start with one of the best of them all. Stoya is by far the most popular Fleshlight girl, with hundreds of gentlemen feeling compelled to express their satisfaction with the product.

Now, if you read that thorough review my colleague wrote about the best Fleshlight sleeve, you will know why this is called Destroya, other than being a play on Stoya’s name, but we’ll get to that in a second. Destroya is Stoya’s Lady sleeve, and it will, quite literally (well not LITERALLY literally), destroy you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

stoya destroya

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Why it’s the best: It starts out crazy tight, and the 360-degree pleasure dome alone is reason enough for this to be near the top, but hold onto your penis, my friend, that is not all that awaits you. Oh, no. Once you get past the initial shock of the pleasure dome, you get to experience a couple more stretches of nubs, teeth, and ribbing like you’ve never seen before in your life.

And while when you look at it sectioned like this it looks like a bug, the feeling will be mind-blowing. The rest of it is all tight ribbing, which looks boring, but doesn’t feel like it, and it promises to finish you off. This texture is popular because it provides such a well-rounded experience.

TORI BLACK: Sultry (Butt sleeve)

tori black

View some awesome photos of Tori Black

What you’re getting: What you’ll notice special about Tori is that she has not one, not two, but three different lady sleeves. However, because the Lotus and Mini Lotus have already been covered in other reviews, and Sultry looks less boring, we’re going to talk about this one, instead. This one’s the butt sleeve, btw.

tori black sultry

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Why it’s the best: You will find that it’s more simple than others on this list, because it doesn’t have 98743653 different chambers and textures – just 3. BUT – and it’s a big butt – we’re looking for quality over quantity, gentlemen. The entrance is itty bitty, so that might prove challenging for a man of some girth, but the rest of the sleeve will accommodate you nicely.

The first part is fairly standard, and gets you going with some light ribbing, before thrusting you into the next room, where the pattern, while aesthetically appealing, is a bit confusing. The third chamber is where it’s at with this one, because you get my personal favorites – the giant nubs. They just look so fun. Enjoy the super tight end!

JENNA HAZE: Lust (Butt sleeve)

jenna haze

View some awesome photos of Jenna Haze

What you’re getting: A firm (hehe) favorite of many a gentleman, Jenna Haze comes with both a popular Lady sleeve and Butt sleeve. You may even find yourself trapped between Obsession and Lust. Today, we’re talking about Lust, the Butt sleeve, because out of the two, it’s a little bit more special.

jenna haze lust

Check out the latest price of Jenna Haze’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: From what I can tell, this one is beloved and well, Lust-ed after because of that super tight entrance. That should get you ready for action and eager to see what else you can experience a few inches deeper. With this one, it’s going to be a ribbed lining that is very realistic and could trick you into thinking you were quite literally screwing Miss Jenna Haze in that place where not many are invited, but where everyone wants to be.

But the party only starts after that initial room; the second half of this is insane – super tight, with nubs and ribbing that will feel that much more intense when they’re gripping you tightly and closely, and the final chamber has echoes of the Lotus and Mini Lotus.

CHRISTY MACK: Attack (Lady sleeve)

christy mack

View some awesome photos of Christy Mack

What you’re getting: Christy Mack is ATTACK-ing you with this interesting vag sleeve. Another one that’s actually a bit different from the others, as you’ll be able to see in a second. The butt sleeve for Christy is very creatively called Booty, so going by that name, you know not to expect much from that one.

christy mack attack

Check out the latest price of Christy Mack’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Christy doesn’t have much in the way of ribbing on this, but boy, does it have nubbing! Three major chambers with different textures await you, starting with a beginner level one, before going through the smallest hole you’ve ever stuck your penis into to advance to the second level, where you enjoy different textured nubs all around the walls. This will work nicely to build up your orgasm, but it isn’t here where you’ll climax, no sir.

HERE you come, third chamber! This one is insane right here, borrowing a bit of texture from its sisters Lotus and Mini Lotus, this rapid succession of small orifices is going to lead you where you need to be.

ADRIANA CHECHIK: Next Level (Butt sleeve)

adriana

View some awesome photos of Adriana Chechik

What you’re getting: I could make sooo many jokes about “next level” stuff here, but let’s stick to our main topic: I’m sure you’re familiar with the work of Adriana Chechik, and if you’re not, here, use my PornHub account! I kid. But we’re talking about her today – well, about the likeness of her asshole, to be precise. One could say that her behind is truly…Next Level.

adriana chechik next level

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Why it’s the best: With Next Level, you will experience several next levels…allow me to explain. This thing seems to have like, 8,000 different chambers (well, that number may not be 100% accurate, it’s more like 6).

You start super tight, go through a nubby padded stretch, and then another one that looks a bit useless, tbh, and THEN you think you’re getting some semi relief because the next bit isn’t that bad…only to fall face dong first into a reaaally tight ribbed bit. Seriously, I think this is one of the tightest on this list, so be warned.

If you make it past this one, you get to feel the craziness that is the chamber right before the finish line: tight and nubby. (Can I take a second here and talk about how “nubby” is the least sexy word in the world?) They look a bit…weird, too? But they’re very pronounced, so you will feel them intensely.

NICOLE ANISTON: Fit (Lady sleeve)

nicole aniston

View some awesome photos of Nicole Aniston

What you’re getting: You’d better hope this one will be a good…Fit. Okay, not my best one, let’s move on. This is Nicole’s lady sleeve, and I quite like this one. It’s varied, it’s interesting, and it does a very good job of keeping you entertained while you get off. Miss Aniston also offers Flex as a butt sleeve, if you’re interested in backdoor play.

nicole aniston fit

Check out the latest price ofNicole Aniston’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: This one is good for a nice, long build-up. You’ll notice that quite a lot of these start out super tight or insane from the very beginning, but this one lets you breathe. If you’re a beginner, you might actually do alright with this.

But just because it’s not the tightest, doesn’t mean it doesn’t provide pleasure – it’s got several rows of teeth that graze along your shaft, for a feeling reminiscent of a teethy blowjob! I kid. Moving on, you go through some nubby and ribbed tighter spots that should up the stakes for you.

Next to last, you’ve got a chamber that gives you room to breathe, but it’s still got this…aggressive-looking texture to keep you going until the Grand Finale, which is the tightest little hole and chamber, with nubs all around to finish you off. Now, wasn’t that nice?

DILLION HARPER: Crush (Lady sleeve)

dillion harper

View some awesome photos of Dillion Harper

What you’re getting: Dillon is another one of the massively popular ones, and not only because she’s hot. Her texture is Crush, which is the Lady sleeve, and she also has a Butt sleeve available, called Crave, for those of you just craving to stick it up her butt. (I’m sorry guys, I’m having so much fun with these puns)

dillon harper crush

Check out the latest price of Dillion Harper’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Only the best is good enough for Miz Harper, so her sleeve is all kinds of special. 5 kinds, to be exact. This unique texture borrows from some of the best Fleshlight products to create a new and mind-blowing product that can do it all.

You start out thinking you’ve got this, this isn’t THAT crazy, just a little nubbing all around the walls, right? But then – haha THEN you move on to the second part, that goes ham on the nubs – the BEST kind of goosebumps – and leads right into a really tiny part that squeezes your cock juuuust right to drive you crazy. And if after that you thought something mild is coming, you’ve got a ribbed canal and an even crazier, tighter swirly one at the very end. You are NOT coming out of this one alive, mate, but you sure put up a good fight.

ALEXIS TEXAS: Outlaw (Lady sleeve)

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View some awesome photos of Alexis Texas

What you’re getting: This Outlaw is tight alright, and that’s really its star feature. Not massive amounts of variety, but wooo boy, I’d be surprised if a lot of you make it through this one. Alternatively, you can get caught up in Alexis Texas’s butt Tornado.

alexis texas outlaw

Check out the latest price of Alexis Texas’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: While not massively diverse, this texture packs a lot in one go. Let’s start with how suuuper tight the entrance is – you’re gonna feel that in a big way going in. This male sex toy doesn’t ease you into it – oh no – it pushes you straight into an intense chamber that sort of looks – and probably feels – like a tumble dryer.

From then on, you slip into a texture that goes on until the end – and it 100% looks like a squid, or one of those baby octopi you eat at fancy restaurants. But no matter how gross that mental image is, if it feels good pressed against your penis, does it matter?

The final step here, and the most intense, is that final chamber that is not only ribbed and nubby, but also really slim. It WILL be the death of you; or the death of something.

MADISON IVY: Beyond (Lady sleeve)

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View some awesome photos of Madison Ivy

What you’re getting: This is Beyond…anything you’ve seen or felt before, and it’s Madison Ivy’s vagina. If it looks crazy, it’s because it is, so buckle up, cowboys, we’ve got quite a bit to get through, unless you want to experience the Wonderland that is her butt sleeve, instead.

madison ivy beyond

Check out the latest price of Madison Ivy’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: This one’s gonna put you through the wringer, my friend, ‘cause it’s got every texture imaginable, and more. There is no down time with this one, no chance to come up for air, it’s all GO GO GO from start to finish.

That first bit is al ripped and cushy, right before you go into a tight one that looks a bit like a cheese grater, minus the painful associations. The next one isn’t any less tight, with very deep and intense ribbing that will embrace your penis into a hug of the most pleasurable death you can imagine.

And if that doesn’t kill you off, you can look forward to a stretch of longer nubs that will tickle and prod at your penis excitedly before you can graduate to your final resting place, which conveniently looks like a padded cell. Not gonna lie, this contraption looks more like a torture device than a pleasure one, but that’s how you know it’s good, right?

ANGELA WHITE: Entice (Butt sleeve)

angela white

View some awesome photos of Angela White

What you’re getting: This Entice-ing texture takes you down the rabbit hole asshole of Miss Angela White, and while I can’t guarantee that the texture is a genuine imitation of the real thing, I’m pretty confident that it feels damn good. If you want a vag instead, then Indulge in her lady sleeve.

angela white entice

Check out the latest price of Angela White’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: I almost can’t take this one seriously, because it looks like Angela White took a fistful of cereal and shoved it up her butt. Literally. Fruit Loops and assorted other shapes. I was going to make a truly depraved joke about milk here, but I’ll abstain.

One this one offers you is consistency, if nothing else. This texture follows you wherever you go, no matter how deep you are, from beginning to end, so if you don’t think that this looks like a good time, you have 18 others to choose from. But I wouldn’t dismiss it that fast.

The consistency can be nice, because where it lacks in texture variety it makes up for in how snug it becomes. Wraps around just right, and gets smaller and smaller the deeper you go. By the time you’ve made it to the end, the Fruit Loops will have done their job.

KENDRA SUNDERLAND: Angel (Lady sleeve)

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View some awesome photos of Kendra

What you’re getting: Porn royalty, Kendra Sunderland has something up her Lady sleeve – hopefully, your penis. Her toy comes with the Angel texture, but boy, does it look demonic, in the best way possible.

kendra sunderland angel

Check out the latest price of Kendra’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: It’s not hard to see why this is in the top if you take a look at it – you can practically feel it, it looks absolutely insane, and it feels even better. Let’s break this Angel down. I counted 5 to 6 different chambers of heavenly pleasure, and it’s hardcore right from the start with this insane spiraling ribbing. This one is determined to kill you off early.

And if you die early on in combat, I salute you, brave, fallen soldier, and continue to warn the rest of you about the enemy territory – a tighter nubby area, followed by another spiraling ribbing to drive you crazy, right before a wall of nubs and a final chamber with what looks like…tentacles, almost, so if tentacle porn is your thing, now you get to see how that feels, I guess.

EVA LOVIA: Sugar (Lady sleeve)

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View some awesome photos of Eva

What you’re getting: Looking for a little Sugar from your favorite girl? Eva Lovia’s gonna be giving it to you – or rather, you’ll be giving it to her, if you know what I mean. Eva’s lady sleeve is a euphemism for vagina, but if you’re not the Sugar kinda guy and prefer Spice, you can get that too, in butt form.

eva lovia sugar

Check out the latest price of Eva Lovia’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to use Sugar Walls in a sentence, so that’s why I chose this sleeve. Not the only reason, but certainly part of it. And these sugar walls sure are sweet – starting with a twisty ribbed bit that looks like it could wring your penis out. I’m sure it’s not as painful as it looks. After that, you get another ribbed part, but the ribbing is vertical, instead. And if you’ve been catching speed so far, hold up – ahead, you have two rows of pleasurable nubs that look like speed bumps. Don’t hurt yourself now.

Next is what I would affectionally call a stone wall, because it totally looks like that, or a cobble-stone road. The experience is better than driving on one of those, I assume, and those “stones” will offer you amazing sensations. You thought you got rid of the twisty bits? NUH-UH. It’s back to finish you off, and it’s even tighter this time!

BRANDI LOVE: Shameless (Butt sleeve)

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DON’T view the horrible photos of Brandi

What you’re getting: That’s a weird looking butt alright, but it feels great, and it’s Shameless. We’ll touch upon all those things you shouldn’t be ashamed of, but for now, know that this is the butt sleeve from Brandi Love, and the lady sleeve is Heartthrob.

brandi love shameless

Check out the latest price of Brandi Love’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Looking at it, it’s very…technical, right? Very symmetrical, almost mathematical. That first chamber tho. Wheeeeeeeweeee. I don’t know if you can tell, but compare it with the other textures – this thing is tiny. In fact, it’s pretty small throughout, so if you’re packing, you might find this uncomfortable, at least at first. You also benefit from some nubs that kind of look like one of those finger-banging sleeves, actually, but the ladies like them, so I’m betting you will, too.

I don’t know if the next chamber is as stimulating as that first one, or if that ribbing will do much for you, but it keeps you going and the tightness is still there. What you’re really waiting for is the final chamber, which is tighter and then looser at regular intervals AND has a nice ribbed pattern that looks less…aggressive than others. You might enjoy that.

LISA ANN: Barracuda (Lady sleeve)

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View some awesome photos of Lisa

What you’re getting: Ever wanted to have sex with a Barracuda? Well, me neither, but this is your chance! Lisa Ann’s vagina (or at least, her lady sleeve) feels like one, and it looks interesting too. Her butt sleeve is Savage, tho, so maybe look into that, as well.

lisa ann barracuda

Check out the latest price of Lisa’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Does this one look gross to anyone else? Show of hands? It’s lowkey similar to what the inside of a nose looks like. I…wasn’t sure what to even say about this one. As you can see, there isn’t a load of variety to talk you through here, but we can’t NOT talk about that texture. It’s wild. Looks like nose turbinates…or a million tiny penises tickling YOUR penis. It’s not gay if they’re rubber, I promise.

Anyway, first you encounter a tiny chamber with a few of these nubs working on the tip of your penis and as soon as you push a bit forward, you’ll encounter a smaller orifice (God, I wish I’d used a different word, “orifice” sounds gross, right?) that should feel nice and tight and after that…it’s just penises on penises until the very end. The sensation is truly unique though, and unlike anything the other sleeves offer. I wouldn’t scroll past this one just yet.

ABELLA DANGER: Danger (Lady sleeve)

abella

View some awesome photos of Abella

What you’re getting: Be careful, you’re about to step into the DANGER ZONE! Any Archer fans around? What about Kenny Loggins? No? Ok, then. The aptly and eponymously named Danger is Abella Danger’s Lady sleeve, while her butt sleeve is called Zone. That’s it, everyone go home, I’ve picked the best one! Luckily for you, the inside is just as good as that name. I’ll let you explore Zone for yourself, today I’m going to talk about Danger.

abella danger

Check out the latest price of Abella’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: You’re in Danger, alright, because that entrance is tiiiight, and leads straight into one of those domes of chaotic pleasure. You will feel those gigantic nubs hours later, mark my words. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster, this one, pretty tight all the way through after that first chamber, with differently textured ribbing and nubbing through all the 6 areas, including something that kind of looks like sugar cubes. I don’t know if that necessarily feels differently than the giant knobs in the Dome of Doom do, but I guess they’re good for variety. I don’t know wtf that bit before is, though.

The next to last one is the big kahuna, because it’s a double whammy of densely packed nubs combined with insane tightness. I don’t even know a penis COULD fit in there, but I guess there’s only one way to find out, right? I guess you could say you’re in DANGER, WILL ROBINSON – of finishing before you get to that final area.

ASA AKIRA: Asahole (Butt sleeve)

alien face

Do yourself a favor and don’t view the photos of this alien

What you’re getting: I’ll tell you right now, I chose this one at least partly because of the name. Asahole is another one of the best sleeve names on this list of cringe-y af names. What can I say, I’m a pun whore.

This is Asa Akira’s Butt sleeve, and it’s apparently very realistic, so if you’ve always been interested in assplay, maybe give this a chance and see how you like it. If you’re strictly a vagina man, that’s ok too, ‘cause Asa Akira also has a Lady sleeve available, and it’s called Dragon. I’d touch upon the vaguely racist connotation of both these names, but that’s not what you’re here for.

asa akira

Check out the latest price of Asa Akira’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Wow. WOW. Would you LOOK at that texture? I can count around 7 different areas; this thing puts those terrible “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms to shame. That entry chamber is insane, packed with a pleasurable texture, and it just gets wilder from there, with a ridiculously small padded chamber that will hug you in all the right places with those little nubs.

The review on the website calls that next area “pleasure rings”, and while typing that makes me engage in a full body cringe, I can’t say it’s wrong. I don’t…understand that next part and why they chose that pattern, but if the Fleshlight gods say it’s hot, I’ve got no choice but to believe them. The last parts vary from very tight to ribbed pleasure rings, so if you want to escape with your dignity intact, I don’t recommend using this one after you’ve had time to work yourself up.

VERONICA RODRIGUEZ: Caliente (Lady sleeve)

veronica

View some awesome photos of Veronica

What you’re getting: Ayyy caramba! This Caliente sleeve from Veronica Rodriguez is hot hot hot! Now that we’ve exhausted the borderline offensive stereotype portion of this program, let’s push deeper into this lady sleeve.

veronica rodriguez caliente

Check out the latest price of Veronica’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Have you ever wondered what it looks like when a vagina has an STD? Now you don’t have to! Those little nubs and weird little balls look exactly like that. I realize that doesn’t make for a very appealing mental image, but think of it this way – you can’t see inside it when you’re having sex with it, so even if it’s ugly, it doesn’t really matter.

This one, like Barracuda, offers the same nubby texture from beginning to end, but that isn’t a drawback, by any means. A lot of men make the mistake of thinking that only the most insane-looking and varied sleeves are the best ones, but something like this can be excellent for building up an orgasm at your own pace, because you won’t be shocked every 3 seconds and you don’t run the risk of…not making it to the finish line. Consistency is a quality we admire.

Anyway, like many textures, you start out more comfortable and work your way deeper to a tighter place, but this one isn’t insanely small, like others. And don’t underestimate the little nubs – those rows of beady little balls do a real number on you.

DOMINIKA: Butterfly (Lady sleeve)

dominika

View some awesome photos of Dominika

What you’re getting: The Butterfly Effect is real, and it can be felt in Dominika’s lady sleeve, boys. When you’re tired of your basic Fleshlight and it’s time to mix it up, do go ahead and enjoy the beautiful, but delicate Butterfly.

dominika butterfly

Check out the latest price of Dominika’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Dominika and her Butterfly don’t play around, no sir. Her sleeve takes you for a ride and that ride is a source of wild excitement right from the start. I don’t even know how to describe this first bit to you, but it has some…cylindric nubs that I’m sure feel very nice. I have no idea if all these different-shaped nubs actually feel different, or if they’re just trying to get you to pay for different sleeves because the inside looks different.

This leads into a tight tunnel of luuuuuuuuv that’s nice and padded with small little nubs that aren’t quite as rough as the previous ones were, but don’t get used to that feeling of tight coziness, because I assure you that you are not prepared for what comes next: some slightly alarming, sharp-looking nubs.

Teeth? Are butterflies usually this aggressive?

If that doesn’t scare you away, then you get to move on to ribs and then…a sort of brick padded room of doom. Just make sure to clean right to the end of it, it can be difficult when it’s this tight.

NIKKI BENZ: Reign (Butt sleeve)

nikki benz

View some awesome photos of Nikki

What you’re getting: Nikki Benz wants to Reign over your penis, so if you want to put it in this ass, be ready to obey. But the real MVP is her lady sleeve.

nikki benz

Check out the latest price of Nikki’s Fleshlight

Why it’s the best: Man, I don’t even know where to start on this one. LOOK at it. It’s small, it’s very small. AND it has a bunch of textures that will take you from one sensation to another in very quick succession. What I’m trying to say is, this isn’t for the faint of heart, and it’s not great if you want to make sweet love to your best Fleshlight for hours, ‘cause you won’t last that long.

The first thing you feel is a chamber with a lattice pattern that is this sleeve’s version of “easing you into it”, I guess. And right after you hang out here for a bit, you get to move forward to a chamber with a brick-like pattern that’s even tighter than the first, so you’re getting double stimulation here.
And if you thought that was tight, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

The next bit is even tighter, and it has a classic kind of ring-like ribbing that a cringier person would call “rings of pleasure”, but not me. The torture chamber is next, and is slightly reminiscent of the inside of an iron maiden, all spikey and terrifying. My personal bet is that not many make it past this one, but if you do, you dive penis first into the last bit that gets progressively tighter, so the ribbing feels closer and closer around your penis.

On a final note, I’d like you to take a moment to consider something that’s very close to my heart:

Sex toy hygiene.

There’s nothing more disgusting than a crusty sex toy with dried up bodily fluids all over it, and that goes for both you guys and gals.

With Fleshlights especially, you may need to be a bit more careful, because the cleaning process is not as straight-forward as it seems, and do you really want your penis to touch popcorn butter jizz? Cause that’s how you get popcorn butter jizz.

You know what, I will not be able to explain this succinctly and I think I’m already past my word count, so just check out this comprehensive guide on how to clean your Fleshlight properly.

And while you’re at it, throw that crusty masturbation sock in the wash as well, you monster.

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