12 ½ Cheap Fleshlight Alternatives: The Good, The Bad, And The Shit

When I got the brief for this article, my first reaction – not gonna lie – was to laugh and ask “WHAT cheaper alternatives? Your hand? A sock?”.

What I, and you will find instead, is that not only are Fleshlights not the be all, end all of sex toys, but that there are other alternatives for men out there, and a lot of them are cheaper. A lot of them are WEIRD.

If you are interested in enhancing and expanding your masturbatory repertoire and experiencing some sensations that you haven’t before, then strap in boys, we’re going for a ride.

What are the available male sex toys, other than Fleshlights?

I had erroneously believed that the sex toy market is all (well, maybe not ALL, but like a solid 90%) about the ladies, and that men were…well, shit out of luck. But boy, was I wrong. Do you know the amount of rubber dick holes, sleeves, masturbators, and other crap people make?

If you do a quick search on any of the shops included on this list, you will be able to find a selection of toys that appeal to a variety of needs and desires, or that scare the bejeezus out of you: sleeves, and masturbators, and strokers, oh my! And higher prices open up even more possibilities.

Can I make a Fleshlight alternative?

Yes, that’s right, you can make your own Fleshlight, right in your own home! The internet is a horrible place, so it will include recommendations and tutorials for fruit you can fuck, sandwiches you can fuck, jars of various creams, sauces, and spreads that you can fuck…you get the picture.

I’m not saying don’t do it, just maybe at least TRY to preserve your dignity, first.

Do yourself a favor and delete these from your browser history when you’re done, you don’t want your last search to be “How to masturbate with a watermelon” in case you die tomorrow.

That sounds like a lot of work, why not just buy a damn Fleshlight?

Well, Barbara, I don’t know, maybe not everyone has $70 – $200 to spend on their dick. Maybe none of the sleeves appeal to you – although we’ve reviewed a VERY nice selection of the best Fleshlight that you may want to check out, no pressure, CLICK HERE – and maybe, just maybe, the look of Fleshlights just freaks you the fuck out. I mean, have you seen those mouth ones? YIKES.

Don’t you just hate it when an article goes on and on with an overly long intro when all you want is to just get to the fucking point?

Let’s move on to the actual toys. I’m going to review the best ones, or the most batshit. Just letting you know what’s out there.

I’m going to list them from most expensive to the least expensive, but they’re all going to be more affordable than the average Fleshlight (Classic Pink Fleshlight, for reference), which retails for $64.95.

$64.95 Fleshlight Classic Pink

price to beat

Or if you’re a cheapskate like me, you can get away with just a Fleshlight sleeve for $49.95. The first couple of alternatives are actually offered by Fleshlight themselves, because they’re nice guys like that, and everything else is sourced from other places.

Now look, prices are accurate at the time of writing this, but they are subject to change, so keep that in mind. I don’t want y’all flooding my inbox with “bUt tHe pRiCE iS wrOooOnG”.

You can find out what the toy actually does, but if you want to skip the babble and just get to the YAY or NAY part (I wouldn’t skip it if I were you, I’m hilarious), then I included a quick summary section helpfully phrased as “should I stick my dick in this?” to get the information you really want to know.

Is it going to be an excellent, inexpensive Fleshlight alternative, or will it shred your penis? Of course, you can always just skip the review altogether and find out by playing Russian Roulette and just sticking your dick in it and seeing what happens. Your choice.

$39.95 Fleshskins Blue Ice

see it

fleshlight fleshskins blue ice

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? We’re starting out in full force with a product that is super interesting – Fleshskins Blue Ice is an offering from Fleshlight, but its “thing” is that it offers the same pleasure at a lower price point.

How were they able to cut down on the price? Well, this thing is all sleeve, actually. That’s right, there is no hard case like with a regular Fleshlight, which has a number of advantages. First, it’s cheaper, which enables you to enjoy the Fleshlight experience on a budget. Then, there’s the fact that this is still textured and made out of the same material as a regular sleeve, which means you don’t lose out on quality.

The other thing I should mention is that this has finger holes to supposedly ensure a good fit. I…can’t really make fun of this. I mean, the finger holes are kinda dorky, but otherwise, it sounds great, and the price is right, especially compared to other similar-priced alternatives on the market.

Sure, it doesn’t have that signature vagina look, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be a drawback – in my eyes, this is WAY less creepy, and more discrete. You want your grandma to be confused, not horrified, when she stumbles across your sex toys.

Should I stick my dick in this? I can’t fault this, so I’d rush to stick my penis in. I’m not even being paid to say that!

$34.95 Quickshot Vantage

see it

quickshot vantage

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? Another budget alternative from Fleshlight (knocking it out of the park here, guys!), the Quickshot Vantage is smaller than the original Fleshlight (less than half the size, apparently), but it doesn’t lose any of the properties that make it successful.

This is one of those that has two holes, so it’s shorter, and they recommend using it DURING a blowjob, so it’s a two-in-one kind of deal, really, isn’t it? You can play with it alone, or you can invite a friend to use it on you. That should also make clean-up easier.

This isn’t bad, by any means, and the difference in price compared to a regular one can make it worth it, but I just think there could maybe be a more interesting option to pursue, instead? I’m probably just nitpicking, at this point.

I will say that, like the previous option, this is more inconspicuous than a regular Fleshlight – or similar alternative – because it’s missing the giant vagina or alien mouth at the entrance. That will come in handy when you need to take it apart and wash it; you don’t want your friend/roommate/mom asking who left the plastic pussy in the sink.

Should I stick my dick in this? Yeah, pound this shit. Fuck $35!

$29.95 Cal Exotics Super Head Honcho Masturbator

see it

super head honcho

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? I’m going to be honest – technically, this isn’t THAT different from other similar toys. A rubber masturbator is a rubber masturbator, you know? The thing about the Super Head Honcho is that it’s actually a second version of this toy; the follow-up to the Head Honcho, but with some significant improvements.

Except for that horrible fucking name.

It still follows the same sort of concept, as it’s a stretchy sleeve, basically, that you masturbate with. Nothing mind-blowing, there; although it should feel like it’s blowing you. WORDPLAY. But this one’s longer than the first one (by 20% apparently, if that makes you feel better?), so if your dick is just toooooo damn long for a regular masturbator, this one should be more comfortable. Okay, enough bragging now, we get it, you’ve got a big dick, Jesus.

Moving on.

The Super Head Honcho also features two open ends, better stimulators, and a stronger suction action.

So, you can masturbate Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. The two openings also make it easier to clean, and you know how much I love a squeaky clean sex toy.

Should I stick my dick in this? Do it! (Pretend) Do it! (I’m inserting) Do it! (clapping hands emojis)

$24.99 Cyberskin Stealth Dual Ended Stroker

see it

cyberskin stealth

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? You know how shitty bootlegs sometimes try to cram in MOAR features than the original in a shallow effort at legitimacy and originality and it ends up being a weird hybrid that looks and feels cheap? Well, this is sort of like that, but it’s like a Frankenstein that didn’t go horribly wrong and is actually good!

This works pretty much in the same way as a Fleshlight, in that it has a sleeve that comes out for easy cleaning (10/10 no crusty vagina), but you will also recognize other features from some of our other contestants, here. It’s dual-ended, so you get to enjoy pussy on one end and deepthroat on the other, although the design on this one is much less crass on this one compared to the Riodong Pocket Pussy.

The other thing you’ll notice is that this comes equipped with a suction cup that you can mount on the wall or on any smooth surface you like if you want to fuck something you don’t have to hold.

Should I stick my dick in this? Bootleg or not, this is a good product that deserves to have your appendage inside it, and for $24.99, what can go wrong? We’ve seen literal rubber sleeves for around the same price; at least this has some other stuff going for it as well.

$24.95 Doc Johnson’s Belladonna’s Pocket Stroker

see it

belladonna pocket pussy

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? Fuck me, this is ugly AF. If we were going off of look alone, I’d give this a 3/10, kill it with fire, watch it melt to make sure it’s really dead, and then run away.

BUT

We’re professionals, so we’re going to give this a proper go. Keeping that in mind, I will say that Fleshlight have pornstar inspired products as well (yes, of course we’ve reviewed them), so if there was ever going to be a very similar, but cheaper alternative, this is it.

And you know what? It’s a top seller and an all-around satisfactory toy, if we listen to the hundreds of men who’ve fucked this thing.

And for $24.95, the truth is I can’t REALLY complain about the way this looks (and to be completely honest, I’ve seen even uglier ones on this very website – Vicky Quickie, anyone?), other than that “life-like” UR3 material they keep bragging about. There is nothing life-like about this plastic vagina, but I sure hope it feels better than it looks.

Should I stick my dick in this? Well, as of now, 724 other men have stuck their dicks in it (well, not in the same one), so why not? If you do it in the dark, you won’t even notice how ugly it is.

$23.69 PALOQUETH Male Masturbation Cup

see it

paloqueth male masturbation cup

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? I KNOW what you’re thinking: “What makes this slightly creepy Fleshlight bootleg different than every other creepy Fleshlight bootleg?

IT VIBRATES. I love shit that vibrates. I’m actually excited about this one.

I know it’s manufactured by a brand you’ve never heard of and sold on Amazon with one of those absurd titles, so that seems sketchy, but don’t knock it ‘till you try it. Yes, it looks like a thermos with a plastic vag in it. Try not to think about it too much. But that’s not all there is to it.

You can take it apart and slip a bullet vibrator in it, on the sleeve. That will make the entire thing vibrate and intensify the sensation. And there is even a spare suction cup attachment that you can use to mount it on the wall and fuck it, instead? And for $23.69? Where has this thing been all your life?

Should I stick my dick in this? I almost feel like there’s got to be a catch to this, because it seems too easy, but for now, I’m going to tentatively say an enthusiastic STICK IT IN!

$19.99 THRUST Pro Mini Ella Realistic Pocket Pussy

see it

thrust pro pocket pussy

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? Great, we’re talking about my least favorite word pairing in the world: pocket pussy. Look, I’m an alliteration whore and I don’t mind getting a little gross, but this is just…anyway, try to ignore the name, ‘cause this thing actually seems to be good!

It’s getting excellent reviews across the board, and for $19.99, you can’t go wrong with this baby. I was feeling pretty good about this option, until I encountered those dreaded words: “crafted to look and feel just like the real thing”.

NO.

When I read shit like this, it makes me wonder if the men who made this (or who wrote this description) have ever met an actual, honest to god human vag? And I say “men” because you bet your ass a woman didn’t look at this and thought “Yep, looks about right!”

But regardless, the concept is distinctly Fleshlight-y, from the shape to the internal sleeve. It looks like a Fleshlight and quacks like a Fleshlight, but it doesn’t have that premium price tag.

Should I stick my dick in this? This one is getting my seal of approval – fuck the creepy-looking rubber pussy! YOLO!

$19.99 Riodong Pocket Pussy

see it

riodong pocket pussy

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? Jesus, where do I even start? Okay, so it has not one, but TWO ends. It’s party in the front AND party in the back. If you can’t decide between a mouth sleeve and a vag sleeve, this gives you the best (?) of both worlds; just on different ends of it.

Creepy alien mouth (THIS GAL HAS TEETH AND A TONGUE) aside, the inside of this looks like your run-of-the-mill sleeve, with all the different patterns you would expect. It’s textured differently on each end, to supposedly offer a sensation that replicates the real thing, and they meet in the middle, which means you could be fucking one side and coming out the other. How romantic.

I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this thing, I was rubbing my palms together like a cartoon villain, ready to tear this shitty bootleg apart, but…it’s actually good?

Should I stick my dick in this? Let me just say this on the record, I wouldn’t stick any body part into some rubber monstrosity that has TEETH (it says it has “soft” teeth? What are soft teeth?). But it seems to actually be decent, so don’t let its supremely creepy appearance steal your cheap sorry, “affordable” orgasm.

$17 Titanmen Tools – Tool Box UR3 Masturbator

see it

toolbox ur3 masturbator

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? Ok this one made me LOL when I saw it because to me, it looks like a bee hive. Right? Can you see it? Good, because I’m afraid the interesting things about it stop there. This is a rubber ribbed sleeve that you masturbate with.

YAWN.

I’m not saying it’s not good, I’m saying it’s BORING. Like, I don’t wanna knock it, but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. It doesn’t do anything special, it doesn’t light up, doesn’t shoot fireworks out of your dick, and doesn’t talk dirty to you while you fuck it. It’s just a piece of rubber that sorta makes your penis feel good.

To be completely honest with you, I don’t even want to finish this review because I’m so bored. What can you say about it? Even that color is boring. Oh yeah, it has two openings, so it washes easily. And it doesn’t have that creepy mouth/vagina replica at the entrance, so I guess it gets points for that. I can’t even reach the minimum word count. Womp womp.

Should I stick my dick in this? It’s a no from me, dawg. Like, your dick won’t fall off or anything, but I can think of roughly 473596 better things to stick your dick into, even for $17. NEXT!

$15.99 Ashlynn’s Butt

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ashlynn butt

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? In a way, I feel like this toy has said it all with that name alone: Ashlynn’s Butt. Like, do you really need to know anything else? It’s pretty self-explanatory. You look at the pic of the toy and you understand that this is modelled after a girl pornstar named Ashlynn and her booty.

They say it’s a “realistic” butt masturbator, but if you look at the close-up pics, they look horrendous.

That hole, man. Look, enough beating around the bush, this is a cheap piece of shit. It’s an empty, plastic shell that looks like what would happen if a swirly dick had a butt. I’ll spare you the agony of finishing this review – it’s not a winner, guys.

I’m sure it would do in case of emergency, because it’s “lightly ribbed” and stretchy, but so are other things that are cheaper and frankly, more attractive than this. Like the masturbator before it, I can’t come up with anything exciting about it, because it doesn’t…do enough.

Should I stick my dick in this? Look, this is fucking boring. And not to give you spoilers, but for less money, you can get a Tenga Egg, and if you’re gross, you can reuse it. So, this for $15.99…eh. Should you stick your dick in this? Eh.

$11.99 TENGA Egg Stepper Textured Male Masturbator

see it

tenga egg

Get this shit ? now

What does this do for me? We can’t NOT talk about the Tenga egg; it’s one of the classic masturbators. You’re probably assuming it’s not a literal egg, and this is just wordplay? No, it’s pretty much what it says on the tin: an egg that you fuck.

It’s a pretty cool concept, actually: you open up the case, peel the film over the hole, fill it up with your favorite lube, and then go to town. What’s special about this, compared to other masturbators, is that it’s made out of a different material, so it’s stretchy. You stick your penis in and just pull the egg down your shaft, towards the base. Like your favorite sock, but better!

The inside is all textured, like most masturbators and sleeves, so you’re in for a pretty good time. You know, once you get over the fact that you are FUCKING AN EGG. But that’s not weirder than fucking a disembodied plastic mouth, so it’s all good.

Something to note, here: TECHNICALLY, this is disposable – fuck it and throw it away. Like a rebound fuck after a break-up; you never have to see her again! BUT, according to the website, if you’re careful with cleaning and handling, you should be able to stretch out this relationship for a few more tumbles in the hay.

Should I stick my dick in this? Yes, you should absolutely stick your dick in it! $11.99 says you’ve got nothing to lose! Well, except $11.99.

$9.99 Screaming O Open Faced Textured Male Stroker

see it

scream o open faced taco

Get this shit now

What does this do for me? I love this. I LOVE it. It’s so fucking stupid. No, really, wait ‘till you see the most horrifying, but the most hilarious words you will ever encounter in your life. In a bit. For now, let’s talk about what it is: a piece of ribbed silicone. No sorry, in the marketing world, it’s a “textured male stroker”.

Back to reality: It’s literally a slab of bendy plastic with some ribbing and you’ll love the instructions on how to use it on the website.

Are you ready?

“Fold it into a taco shape around your cock”

??????????

!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s a joke here somewhere about eating meat tacos, but even I’m not that disgusting, so I’ll refrain, but I KNOW you’ve made the joke.

I can’t even take this seriously. It’s a piece of silicone. THAT YOU ROLL UP LIKE A TACO. Around your man meat. And they want you to stay hard after that? I’m sorry, I’m probably not giving this a fair chance, I just don’t think I’d be able to stop laughing for long enough to fuck myself with this.

Should I stick my dick in this? Don’t pay $10 for this, man. You can achieve the same effect with a makeup brush cleaning glove. Or a tanning glove. Or pot holders. They come in sets of 2 AND they’re cheaper. DIY masturbators, get your DIY masturbator here! Either way – HARD PASS.

cheapest

$0.46 Real Pocket Pussy Artificial Vagina Man Masturbators Toy Male Aircraft Cup Adult Sex Toys Sex Product For Men

see it

real pocket pussy aliexpress

Get this shit now

What does this do for me? I am not going to dignify this thing with a number, because it doesn’t deserve it. It can have ½, which is the amount of stars I would give this shit. I left the entire title in because it’s fucking hilarious, and as you may be able to tell, this is from Aliexpress, which I think tells you all you need to know about the level of quality you can expect from this.

Spoiler alert! It’s not great.

But after I stop laughing, we are going to address the way this thing looks and how it works. This thing looks batshit, but what do you want from a male sex toy that is currently $0.46? That’s right, that’s less than you’d leave in the cup of that crazy guy in front of the bank yelling about how the end of days is near.

So, what does $0.46 buy you? A pink rubber tube that is vaguely reminiscent of a gear shift, because of the finger indentations. I assume that censored end is a pussy-like entrance, but otherwise, we have no idea what this thing looks like inside!

What’s hilarious is that it has a ton of good reviews for a mystery toy that promises to be a “real” pocket pussy. Maybe they don’t show you the inside because one of the (still good!) reviews mentioned HAVING TO CUT A HOLE IN IT BECAUSE THERE WAS NOWHERE TO STICK YOUR DICK INTO.

I think I rest my case.

Should I stick my dick in this? WHERE would you stick your dick in a SEALED silicone tube? If you want to keep your penis, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

BONUS!

Do you want to piss away some money for the LOLz? These won’t be cheaper than the average Fleshlight, but they want to be comparable. I’ll let you be the judge of that.

$149 Titan By Kiiroo™ Interactive Vibrating Sex Toy For Men

see it

kiiroo titan

Get this shit now

What does this do for me? I know what you’re thinking – “But this thing is like 150 bucks!!!”

Yes, that’s true. So, then, why did I include it on a “cheap” alternatives list???

Because I wanted to. Now shut up and listen.

Have you ever wanted to fuck your Alexa or Amazon Echo? You kind of can, now? No, it won’t talk to you, but it looks exactly like one of those, and like these, it will get you hard and make you wanna yell FUCK YEAH, TECHNOLOGY!

The Titan has “touch-sensitive vibration technology” – I wish they’d just say, it’s a sleeve and a fuckton of (okay, 9 – YES NINE!!!) bullet vibrators. That’s gonna buzz the fuuuuck out of your dick. They really like to emphasize this is an “interactive” male masturbator.

What the fuck does that even mean?

Well, in this case, it means you can play by yourself, adjusting speeds and modes, OR you can connect to VR and 2D videos to interact with lovely, but virtual ladies who are there to offer you a good time.

Is that creepy? I mean, duh.

But I love how with every technological advancement we see, three seconds later, we find some way to use it to make porn. That is commitment to the cause.

If that’s going a bit too far down the rabbit hole for you, then maybe keep things in the real world, by connecting to a partner’s device for long-distance shared masturbation, instead.

Sidebar – Look, if you want relationship advice from me (no one should take relationship advice from me), cut the crap and just break it off, because long-distance relationships don’t work. If you MUST, then I GUESS this can help to “share your pleasure with them”. Can you feel the cringe?

Don’t look at me, I didn’t write that shit.

Should I stick my dick in this? I guess objectively, I can’t say “don’t”, because this is cool, but…does this VR thing give you the heebie jeebies? That’s some Black Mirror shit, right there.

Disclaimer: No penises were harmed in the making of this review.

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