How to Control Premature Ejaculation

I often help people on men’s health forums using different and creative nicknames. One of the most popular question people ask is how to control premature ejaculation.

As someone used to say, the quality of the answer you get depends on the quality of the question you ask.

The question “how do you to control premature ejaculation” starts from a disempowering assumption. It assumes that you’ll always have premature ejaculation and you need to “control” it. It assumes that you need to “keep a constant eye on your premature ejaculation” in case it gets out of control.

And when you start with this mindset it becomes easy for you to buy into the idea of creams and funny sprays. Because that’s what these ridiculous premature ejaculation cures do. They leave you with premature ejaculation, but only temporarily “control” it.

If you’ve been reading a few articles on this blog, you know that I’ve tried all of the above mentioned “cures” only to find myself after two years with less money than before, worse sexual health, low self-esteem and with a bedroom that looked like a male enhancement pharmacy.

Instead of asking how to control premature ejaculation, ask how to control ejaculation. That’s a better question and here is a better answer.

First of all you need to realize that ejaculation is normal and that you don’t want to develop delayed ejaculation and never come. No. You simply want to enjoy the climax and orgasm when you want to (usually after your girl has had a few orgasms herself and is ready to receive your load).

As I explain in detail in my top seller training system and as my students already know, ejaculation doesn’t just happen like rain on a sunny day. No, ejaculation is triggered by the spinal cord when your reach your ejaculatory threshold, in other words when your body reaches the maximum level of arousal it can handle.

Now can we control this process?

Sure we can. I’ve successfully taken total control of my ejaculatory response and taught tons of men around the world do the same. Sometimes I wish there was a way for me to show you this (maybe uploading pictures of satisfied girls that say: “Oh yes, Deon! Oh, that man!!”) but this is a bit tricky to do when you care about privacy as much as I do.

To control (premature) ejaculation there are two main things you need to work on.

From a mental point of view you need to learn how to direct your mind where you want it to be.

You know, today I was reading a very interesting article that said: “the only thing in your life you have total, absolute control over is your mind”. At the beginning I thought: “hey this guy is wrong, I have also control over my body” but then I realized that the author was right.

While we have control over our bodies, we have much more control over our minds, or at least we have the potential to. And when you control your mind, controlling your body becomes a cinch. Actually at that point everything in life becomes easy.

You have the potential to totally absolutely control your mind and make it do whatever you want, but unfortunately most men with premature ejaculation haven’t developed that skill yet and are victims of their minds.

Do you remember before when I said that ejaculation is triggered when you reach your current arousal “limit” (or ejaculatory threshold)?

Right. There are two main ways (plus combinations of these two) for you to reach that “limit”.

1) Physical stimulation

2) Mental stimulation

Mental stimulation often causes premature ejaculation in most men. The girl is not even there and they are already thinking about it too much, their mind is already fantasizing about how they are going to thrust her doggy style, how moist her pussy is gonna feel like on their cock and how it’s gonna be to suck her nipples and slap her ass.

Now while there’s nothing “bad” in fantasizing per se, it becomes a problem if you have a weak awareness of your arousal. If you can’t feel how your arousal is growing “behind your sight” you’ll then end up close to your ejaculatory threshold just before having sex.

And this is what makes you (and used to make me) cum in your pants as soon as she touches you.

To me it felt like I was just unlucky or sick, I couldn’t make up my mind why I would come so quickly… I mean, I haven’t even penetrated her… how’s that possible?

Well this is possible because even though no physical stimulation has started yet, your mind has been having sex all afternoon. And mental stimulation is just as powerful (maybe even more) than physical stimulation.

To control (premature) ejaculation your first step is to learn how to control or direct your mind.

Now there are two very important things that need to be said.

First. When I say “control your mind” I do not, absolutely not, mean “distract yourself”. As thousands of men who have followed my training system and taken control of their sex life have learned “distracting yourself” during sex leads to erection problems. It creates an arousal dysfunction that is not healthy. You can read more about it in this article about the three worst solutions for premature ejaculation.

Second. I’m not saying you can’t fantasize about girls you want to fuck anymore, about her boobs or ass. That’s normal, people like fantasizing. BUT to be able to “afford” this luxury you first need to develop control over your body and keep the reins of your arousal without letting it slip behind your awareness while you fantasize.

In the training system I personally developed (based on real life experimentation and testing) I help you to go through this process one step at a time. People who easily master the mental part of the equation, quickly move to the physical half and gain control in no time.

Now I was supposed to write about the physical control and get more in detail but I think this article about how to control premature ejaculation is already too long.

Listen. The single best first step you can take today is signing up to my newsletter, that’s were I keep my tips and tricks to help you win this battle just like I did.

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About Deon Black

Sex Coach. Since 2012 we've spent 60,000+ hours testing 1,000+ sex toys. Author of 47 hours - helping men last longer in bed.