10 Tips to Increase Female Libido, You’re Welcome


Welcoming All Problems – CC image from Zach on Flickr

Much like the British weather, a female libido can change from one minute to the next. One day it’s on and the next it’s off. It’s not necessarily down to choice either. Psychological and physical factors can ping your libido about like a Wimbledon pro.

Luckily for you, we’ve done the research and rounded up the culprits behind typical female libido problems. Often the problem can be mental but sometimes it can be an underlying medical concern. There are a lot of things to factor in that can affect your sex drive.

We have got the ball rolling with some suggestions and techniques that may help you counteract that non-existent or low libido.

What Is Low Libido?

A low libido describes a constantly low sex drive. Men suffer from it, but it’s much more common in women. It’s estimated that in the UK more than 1 in 5 women will suffer from a low libido in her lifetime.

Other things can cause your libido to fall flat on its face as well. Take those major passion-killers called stress and over-tiredness for example. Who wants a hot night of sex when they are panicking about performing well at their 8.30 breakfast meeting?

Life worries, such as job pressures, mortgages rises, family sickness, and bereavements all take their toll.

Even every day illnesses like colds, flu, coronavirus and hayfever can be blamed for diminishing libidos. Not to mention that their remedies can also put a stop to your early nights.

An occasional blip in the frequency of sex doesn’t count as low libido. Temporary issues can make you lose interest for a bit, but a healthy sex drive should return. If it doesn’t then it’s worth getting a doctor’s appointment to find out if something is going on.

Even if your interest in sex is falling, a low libido doesn’t always mean that you don’t find your partner attractive any more. There could be medical issues confusing the matter.

10 Ways to Conquer a Low Libido

1) Combat Dry Vagina With A Libido Boosting Lube

An obvious indication of a female libido problem is a dry vagina When a woman’s vagina is drier than a summer cactus garden she needs lube. These are easily bought at a supermarket or pharmacy. They are cheap and easy to use.

A dry vagina is depressing, and it doesn’t always make sense. Sometimes you can be in the mood, everything has gone right, you’ve got the place to yourselves, and suddenly, BAM! You’re hung out to dry – quite literally.

It’s not good news for you, and it’s not good for your partner either. It’s undermining and frankly upsetting to think that you don’t do it for your partner. Whether you’ve been together a few days or a few years, the signs that you are not getting turned on can lead to a storm in your relationship.

Sex keeps you close, and when that intimacy is gone, it can affect other parts of your life.

Well, don’t panic. A dry vagina doesn’t mean your relationship is at an end, or that sex will be forever painful.

There are physical reasons why your lady parts can be drier than a thousand-year-old Egyptian mummy. So let’s take them one at a time.

A Dry Vagina Can Be A Sign Of Illness, Medicines Or An Unhealthy Lifestyle

No part of you is going to be healthy if you lead a lifestyle that involves zero vitamins, liquid or exercise.

A dry vagina beckons the couch potato. If you base your diet around junk food, and your exercise involves sitting on your backside with an occasional reach for the TV remote, you are going to see it in your body’s output.

An unhealthy lifestyle makes itself known on your skin. It breeds spots, greyness, and wrinkles. Don’t forget that your vagina is made of skin!

That said, you can be as healthy as a horse, but if you are taking medicines a dry vagina can be a side effect. Cold and flu remedies are known to dry you out, as do hay-fever cures.

There’s a dry vagina for all seasons. Get some lube for women!

Shower Gel Can Cause A Dry Vagina

Chemical irritants, such as harsh shower gel, kill off all the healthy stuff, leaving an imbalance on the skin’s surface. Try to avoid antibiotic ingredients, such as tea tree or lavender, they are renowned for causing dry skin.

You might find that your laundry soap is causing a problem too. All kinds of allergies exist because cleansing chemicals are not friendly to intimate body areas.


Sometimes a vagina has a mind of her own, and it can feel like she’s harboring a grudge. ‘I did everything right’ you say ‘and I’m not taking any medicine?’ ‘Tough luck’ your vagina replies.

Sometimes psychological reasons can cause a problem. Perhaps you’re worried that your vagina will be drier than a parched skeleton. You know when you’re nervous and your mouth goes dry? It’s the same thing down there!

Lubricants such as gels and creams are great for women who have problems with vaginal dryness. A dry vagina can make sex painful, and really put her off doing it again.

Unfortunately one dry vagina experience can lead to another when nerves kick in. Introducing a lube to the bedroom can help enormously.

Nervousness leads to, yep, vaginal dryness. Take the worry out of sex by investing a decent lube such as HerSolution Gel which lubricates you with natural ingredients. It even claims to increase blood flow to vaginal and clitoral regions.

Perfect for when you’ve had such a long day that you fall asleep during foreplay. We’ve all been there, don’t be embarrassed! HerSolution Gel may get you in the mood, fast. A bedside drawer addition you’ll be thankful for!

Another female-specific lubricant that claims to also boost a flagging libido is Vigorelle.

These sexually arousing creams provide plenty of lubrication, but also may offer libido-boosting effects. Vigorelle and HerSolution Gel are not cheap, but they are premium lubes for women and contain no parabens.

Their natural ingredients include L-Arginine, which is said to increase sex drive by promoting blood flow to the genitals, Ginko Biloba, Wild Yam, and Aloe Vera – all said to be arousal boosting extracts that support female libido problems.

Apparently they only include botanical essences, which are less toxic to the body than fats and chemicals found in standard lubes.

Topical female libido boosters can be used as part of foreplay. You don’t need to take them in advance and wait for a stirring. The vials can just sit in the bedside drawer ready for action at a second’s notice.

They are great for spontaneous sex and also good for solo play if the mood takes you. Topical female creams like Vigorelle and Her Solution Gel are water-based, so they don’t damage condoms or toys, and wash easily from the sheets.

A good lubricant can spice up your sex life no end. You can rub them anywhere you please. Genitals, breasts, for anal fun, and on toys too.

Make sure you read the instructions carefully if you’re using condoms because not all lubes are condom friendly. Oil based lubes can rot rubber. Stick with water-based if you aren’t sure.

A stimulating lotion is never a bad idea, whatever your choice of product. Any worries about being too dry for sex is simply rubbed away.

2) Address the Elephant in the Room

One of the biggest passion-killers around is self-consciousness. You may be bumbling along, having sex occasionally and ignoring the fact your libido is decreasing, (or it’s stone dead), but if you raise the topic, will it cause embarrassment?

People can be guilty of head-burying, but that’s not the way to deal with female libido problems. Instead of making like an ostrich, it helps to talk about the problem. If you raise the issue, it makes sure that you face it as a team.

Talking about it also fends off that head of steam which builds up and blows when you least need it. Recognize this?

‘I don’t want to visit your parents this weekend, it’s boring AND you never want sex anymore!’

Cue a screaming match and the cold shoulder for a day afterward. The self-consciousness that comes with female libido problems can be crippling. So don’t make a big deal about it – find a way to increase your libido together, and do so in a low-key way.

3) Don’t Play the Blame Game

Blaming your partner for an average sex life, or a disappearing sex life is a terrible idea. Is it a woman’s fault for always having a headache? Is it a man’s fault for failing to give enough foreplay?

Are you both at fault for spending too much time on the internet rather than with each other? (Yes, that one’s probably true).

Most of the time it’s no-one’s fault, but simply an issue that could do with some attention. Of course, spending more time together and talking without playing the blame game will always help.

4) The Power of a Good Compliment

There’s nothing like a compliment to make you feel good about yourself.

When you feel good, the world is a happier place. If you are happy, you’ll see the benefits in the bedroom.

Sometimes a low libido is due to embarrassment or a lack of self confidence. A low self-esteem is also a libido killer. Why on earth would someone want to take their clothes off when they feel ugly? It’s human nature to hide our faults from view.

You might feel under pressure in the bedroom, or like you don’t measure up to all those Hollywood goddesses.

It’s not surprising that women feel like poor relations when they are constantly looking at pictures of pneumatic breasts and jutting rib bones. If it makes you feel inadequate, just remember that it’s all clever cinematography and plastic surgery!

A partner can make a world of difference to your confidence by encouraging you and praising your perfect form. If your mind thinks you are Christina Hendricks, then your body may follow suit!

A good frame of mind and a healthy body image is one of the best female libido boosters. It can work wonders on your sexual appetite and overall happiness.

Anyone reading this that has a partner with low libido really needs to start her engines in every way they can. If she’s cooked, thank her and say how good it was (this may not be true but just suck it up).

Say her hair looks nice – women universally love this compliment.

Has she lost weight? No? Ask anyway. This may lead to a sudden increase in sex. If it does, compliment her in bed too, smell, taste feel – mention it all.

A lack of belief in looks causes a lack of self-esteem. Boosting her self-worth is a worthy female libido enhancer that may cause an avalanche of sex. Brace yourself!

5) Bust The Boredom In The Bedroom

If the only thing opening and closing in your bedroom are curtains and you can’t pinpoint the reason why, it could be down to boredom.

If you find yourself bored in the bedroom of course your libido is going to suffer. We all avoid boring chores such as washing up, mowing the lawn and deleting watched programs from the digibox.

Don’t let sex appear on that list. It should, and can, be something fantastic that you look forward to. Low libido is a sign that something is wrong, so don’t ignore those bedroom yawns.

You may well love your other half, but watching someone cut their toenails and squeeze their spots is not an aphrodisiac that we’ve heard of, but each to their own.

The point is, when you know someone inside out it is excitement and newness that’s missing. That doesn’t mean you should find someone else though.

Get excited about your early night and try our top tips with your partner.

Don’t skip the foreplay.

When women are pounced upon and expected to climax, they may as well collect their coat and wave goodbye to that orgasm. To get there, you’ll need some foreplay. Consider it a warm up to the games. If you are lucky, you may even orgasm during foreplay.

It can be easier for some women to orgasm then, because attention is paid to the clitoris. They aren’t worrying about a partner getting there first and leaving them high and dry. You’ll need time for foreplay, but it’s time well-spent.

Once you’ve orgasmed, you’ll know you can do it, and subsequent sex will be better.

Find out if you prefer light pressure or firm pressure. Do you prefer it slow or fast? We can’t tell what’s best for you we’re afraid, you’ll have to do some work. Start out on your own if you feel the need to perform for your partner.

Above all – relax. Just like you can never think of the right word when you wrack your brain, if you try too hard to orgasm, it won’t come (pun-fun!).

Make sure there are no pressures; even knowing you have to get up early can leave you frustrated. It could be that your decreasing sex drive is due to never having the time for sex – use it or lose it certainly applies here.

Once you get back into the swing of sex, you might find that your libido increases. Starting is always the hard part.

Understand what is where.

You need to know your own body if you want to make it work for you. If you don’t really know what your clitoris is capable of, then find out! Look for your G-spot too.

Try a few inches inside your vagina, just up at the front. Play around until you find out what you like. Use some sex toys too if it makes things easier.

Don’t forget that erogenous zones are all over the body. Your neck, feet, scalp, ears – test them all out. Some exploration of your sexual self might perk up a decreasing sex drive.

You might think that sexual exploration is just for teenagers, but that’s not the case. People get bored. Sadly that’s a fact of life. A decreasing sex drive might reflect your indifference to a partner’s charms and efforts.

Something new may well ignite your enthusiasm and boost your libido sky-high.

Tell your partner what to do – We don’t mean the washing-up.

Although some women can have multiple orgasms, men have it easier when it to comes to getting there – physically speaking that is. All men’s bits are on the outside, within easy reach.

The clitoris, that magic climax button, is hidden away. It feels like some kind of cosmic practical joke. Yes, it looks all nice and tidy, but when it comes to access, it can be easier to find an anaemic snowman in Iceland.

You don’t need to bark out ‘that’s wrong’ to your partner, but if he’s at the North Pole, and you want the South Pole, then guide him there. Plenty of encouragement and saying what’s good is an enjoyable learning curve for both of you.

Unfortunately, school sex education classes don’t tell us much about the clitoris. ‘The vagina is the resting place for the penis.’ does not help women orgasm, and it certainly doesn’t re-stimulate a decreasing sex drive! It’s your job to educate now.

It’ll be the best biology lesson you’ve ever had.

Using Sex Toys To Spice Up A Low Libido

Vibrators are a good choice for the beginner. The choice of vibrator is literally endless. They come in all shapes, colours and sizes. There are penis replicators and egg-shaped vibrators to suit your preference.

Vibrating cock rings can cause unheard of stirrings, and you can even purchase vibrating panties for public use. There are a diverse range of sex toys specifically for couples too. Go steady with the credit card!

Fantasies Can Knock Out A Low Libido

There’s always something secret stuffed away at the back of everyone’s mind. Something they wish they could try. It could be something like sex in public, S&M, making a home movie or inviting a friend over.

Confide these fantasies and you might find a whole new world of sauciness opening up. A word of caution though. Both parties must enjoy the fantasy. It’s no good if he loves the idea of threesome, but she doesn’t – that’s just going to make her interest in sex plummet even more.

It could be something as simple as sexy lingerie or trying some romantic games. If that sounds a little vanilla then you might fancy reading our BDSM guide explained by a NYC pro dominatrix.

6) Good Health Is A Natural Female Libido Enhancer

The state of a woman’s health reflects in her appetite for life, and this includes an appetite for sex. If you smoke, stop. We might sound like your parents, but it does you no good at all. It actually causes problems, such as restriction to blood vessels.

That’s exactly the opposite of what a female libido enhancer tries to create!

The recommended amount of sleep is 7-8 hours per night, but how many people actually get that? We’d guess not many.

Try to get to bed an hour earlier every other night. If you are tired, everything is a chore. Lack of sleep stops your body from healing, making you more vulnerable to illnesses.

Stress is a modern-day plague, rampaging around as technology allows us to work 24/7. Your mind is a part of your body, so treat it well. Take breaks from whatever is stressing you out with distractions such as reading, films, or a hobby.

The stress will be waiting for you when you get back, but don’t let it rule your life. Decreasing stress is a very effective male and female libido enhancer.

Lifestyle choices affect the libido to the point where female sexual disorder may develop. A dependency on stimulants dampens emotional and physical response, partly due to your blood pumping slower.

A cold beer, or a full-bodied red, whichever your preference, a drink can sometimes be a female libido enhancer, but don’t rely on it as a long term solution. Drinking every night has negative effects on your body.

Remember that alcohol is a depressant. It dampens down your reactions and too much to drink leads to rubbish sex. Orgasm after a bottle of Blue Nun anyone? I don’t think so. And that’s not just because you’ll be getting your stomach pumped.

You’ll notice that we didn’t mention fitness levels yet. Thought you’d escaped huh? Well, I’m afraid not. To have a healthy libido you need a level of bodily fitness.

Your car won’t start if you leave it standing unused, and your body will react the same way.

Use your body, and get blood flowing to those lady parts naturally. If this doesn’t work for you, then it might be time to try a sex supplement.

A great female libido enhancer is fitness. A strong heart pumps blood efficiently around the body, and this is what you need to get in the mood. Plus, once you are in the mood, you’ll have more stamina and flexibility for, well, we’ll let you decide on that!

7) Female Libido Enhancing Aphrodisiacs

Some people suggest that certain foods can boost a libido flatter than a boy band before auto-tune. There is some method to the madness, so here are some that may help boost your inner goddess.

Avocados, almonds, and strawberries were used as female libido enhancers over past centuries, and figs (again looking a bit sexual, no?) were used as fertility treatments and as a sickness diet for Roman noblewomen.

So stick on your toga, eat some figs, and boost that low libido Roman style. Julius Caesar knew how to get a woman in the mood. His bowl of figs on hand was a winner, no questions asked.

Other food to try that work on the same principle as supplements and gels include;

Seafood: Full of zinc and minerals, seafood dishes are great female aphrodisiacs. When you feel good, your vagina will respond. Oysters are a cliché for a reason, maybe because they look a bit sexual – or is that just us?

On a scientific level, oysters have plenty of zinc, which is essential for good sexual health. but all shellfish are excellent for zinc and great sexual health. Just make sure it’s cooked properly. That raw oyster may provoke a body reaction, but potentially not the one you were hoping for.

Asparagus: Phallic-shaped asparagus spears are full of vitamin E which supports the production of sex hormones, including estrogen.

Chocolate: Eating chocolate releases happy feelings. For some, it’s an exciting treat or a memory of reward. Either way, it triggers dopamine, the feel-good chemical. Mmm. Chocolate.

Ginger: Some of the top brand of sexual supplements such as Provestra include ginger. It’s potentially a blood-circulation booster, which may heighten sensation in your genitals. It will also stop you feeling sick if you’ve gone overboard with the chocolate and oysters

8) Ease Back Into It

As well as food, touch is a well-known aphrodisiac. A warm massage helps to wind down those stresses and makes you more receptive to sexual touch.

It’s really not much fun to jump straight into sex every night without a warm-up, besides which, you might strain something. It’s not possible to win the 100-meter sprint without warming up those muscles.

You might even find a warm bath first will also help your muscles to unwind. Add to that the offer of a firm massage and you’re in female libido enhancer heaven. Whilst we are on the subject of massage there are a few essential oils you can try that might have a lasting effect.

9) Essential Oils Are Also Excellent Female Aphrodisiacs

No, not the oil you fry your hangover breakfast with, but gorgeous smelling essential oils that can be used in massage mixes, burned as incense, or applied to your skin.

Smell and taste are important female aphrodisiacs in the bedroom, and they tend to get forgotten in favor of our obsession with how things look.

Wave goodbye to that distracting ache in your lower spine brought about from holding your post-spaghetti-bolognese tummy in, and start sniffing. Men don’t notice a bloated tummy when faced with a pair of boobs anyway.

Rose Oil: Rose oil has a sensual aroma that takes you away from your stresses and happily floats you on a cloud to the land of uber-relaxation, or as it’s otherwise known, Club

Tropicana: Using rose oil in plain base massage oil is a female aphrodisiac and a half.

Patchouli: To begin with it might remind you of those hippy shops with candles and patchwork waistcoats, rather than sexy female aphrodisiacs – but give it a few minutes, and you’ll find yourself melting into the bedsheets.

Dab it on your wrists if you don’t have time for a massage, or burn some incense whilst you take a warm bath. No candles? No worries, you won’t need them.

In any case, we once knew someone who lit a candle in their bathroom window. The patterned glass made their neighbor think there was an inferno in the house and they called the fire service.

Some women might say that the fire service smashing their front door down would be the female aphrodisiac to end all-female aphrodisiacs. In reality, it wasn’t. Stick to the oils.

Jasmine: It’s been used for centuries, and it’s so beautiful that women are named after the flower from which it is derived. It’s an up-lifter, so you won’t be as relaxed as when you use rose and patchouli, but you will be more ‘active’ if you get our meaning.

No? OK, you’ll be more in the mood for going on top, trying out the shower, doing that naughty thing you’ve been wondering about for ages. Don’t scratch him too badly Tiger.

Sandalwood: An excellent essential oil that can really work well as a female aphrodisiac. The scent is so strong, it over-powers your senses and literally drives that stress out of town with a chariot and whip (now there’s a thought…).

If it’s too strong for you and makes your head spin, mix it with a floral note such as rose or jasmine. Your own personal female aphrodisiac, how haute-couture.

Remember not to apply essential oils to the penis or vagina. They can upset natural PH

balances and cause thrush worse than a pair of nylon trousers. Oh, Abba, how you must have suffered.

Keep a specific sexual lubricant for slipperiness down there. Hey! Over here – we’re talking to you, not Abba.

Our very best advice is to indulge yourself in something that you love doing. If this natural, de-stressing, enjoyable time doesn’t get your clitoris ringing for attention, then try out female supplements.

10) Female Libido Enhancing Pills

The other route is oral medications. A lot of them incorporate some of the previously mentioned aphrodisiacs and natural ingredients that promote blood flow and they are becoming far less taboo too.

Female Libido Booster pills are not a prescription drug, so you doctor won’t prescribe any for you. If you want to try them you can buy quantities in pharmacies or online.

If you are anxious about what you are ingesting here are a few myths we have busted for you.

Myth? Only Menopausal Women Need Female Enhancement Pills

Menopausal-age women may find female enhancement pills of use, especially when hormone levels begin to drop. Pills such as Provestra claim to boost estrogen and enhance vaginal lubrication, two of the main symptoms of menopause.

However, it’s not only menopausal women who have problems with their libido.

Women from all walks of life can suffer from a decreasing sex drive. Take the woman who works really hard, has a busy job, demanding family and all the stresses of life. She doesn’t feel like sex anymore. Her libido has fallen faster than the coffin of a fat man turned to stone.

This type of woman might benefit from the boost of herbs and vitamins in female enhancement pills, even if menopause is years into the future.

The ginger, ginseng and L-Arginine type ingredients may boost her blood circulation and make her feel like getting jiggy again. Doesn’t matter what age she is.

Myth? Female Enhancement Pills Are Just Expensive Wee

It’s true that a great deal of what we ingest is ‘expelled,’ as your science teacher would have eloquently put it, but we know that what we put into our bodies is used. We wouldn’t be alive if nutrients weren’t extracted from our diets, and if you’ve ever taken antibiotics, you’ll know they work.

The body keeps small amounts of nutrients for its use, and flings the rest away like a barmaid who’s won the lottery. So, the body will keep what it needs from female enhancement pills. Whether these have any libido-boosting effect is a different question!

Myth? My Sex Life Is Just Fine, I Don’t Need Female Enhancement Pills

It’s fine? Is that all you have to say? What about ‘mind-blowing’, ‘We’re at it like rabbits’, ‘My partner is an animal and a gentleman in the bedroom – I literally rip my knickers off with my own teeth’ instead?

Fine is not good enough. Your sex life can always be better. Female enhancement pills like Provestra may boost your desire for sex, and lubes like HerSolution Gel may cause a tingling like you’ve just peed on an electric fence.

Showing him what you really want can change your life, doing it with the lights on, swapping to the kitchen, or oral sex in the middle of a forest during a snowstorm – you won’t know what is great until you try.

Fine? Honestly! We are shaking our head. Check out the rest of this site for ways to make your sex life better than ‘just fine’.

Myth? All Female Enhancement Pills Are The Same

Most female enhancement pills contain the same kind of ingredients, such as black cohosh, ginger, L-Arginine, raspberry leaf, the list is endless. The difference comes in the quantity and quality of the ingredients.

Check out the ingredients list, and go for something natural, botanical and organic. They may cost more, but they may be better for you. Read up on the websites for money-back guarantees and testimonials.

Myth? You Can’t Use Female Enhancement Pills And Gels Together

You can. Don’t worry about an overdose if you work the two together. In fact, they can complement each other. A stimulating lubricant like Vigorelle gives you immediate relief from a dry vagina and may kick-start the clitoral tingles with its special blend.

Pills like Provestra work gradually, building up in your body, and potentially improving your sex drive from the inside. They also claim to work on vaginal lubrication too. Use them together, and you might get the best of both worlds.

Myth? Female Enhancement Pills Stop You Getting Pregnant

There are many out there on the market, so always check, but Provestra claim their ingredients are all-natural and won’t stop you from getting pregnant. If you ARE pregnant, you should not be using female enhancement pills or any medication unless your doctor says so.

Sorry to sound like your mum again, but it’s important.

Myth? Female Enhancement Pills Are Embarrassing

Well, that’s down to your perception of course, but we think that the taboo is lifting. They are appearing on TV programs, and female enjoyment of sex is constantly in magazines. ‘Ten best lubes for women’ the glossy mags scream (don’t bother with theirs, read ours for free).

These magazines aren’t on the top shelf either, they eyeball you from mid-height. They aren’t embarrassed, and neither should you be.

Positive steps toward improving your sex life, instead of becoming bored, miserable, and sore, should be commended. Give yourself a congratulatory handshake. Still, if you want to keep it quiet, Provestra is delivered discreetly in plain wrapping, and even the box looks like a migraine solution.

Female enhancement pills are easy to find, but you must research to find the best one for you. If you want to test them out, don’t be shy.

Myths around libido-boosting pills are numerous but don’t dismiss them and spend the rest of your sexual life wondering if you missed out. They might help you, and if they don’t – at least you tried.

Whatever female libido boosting products you decide to try out, make sure you research the company. Reputable brands are more likely to have contact details and a question facility. A money back guarantee is always a good sign.

Join some forums and see what other users are posting. You may strike lucky with your first purchase, if you look for premium brands with a history of consumer preference.

Before we wrap up this article we have an important in-flight statement to pay attention to.

Once upon a time there was a website called letstalksex.net that published articles about the wonderful world of sex.

However, the website was not a qualified doctor, nor did it give any advice to its much loved visitors on their personal health and well-being. All it did was awareness raise.

Did you see what we did there? Good, but just to be sure we’ll repeat – we’re not doctors so please keep in mind that if you identify with anything you read here, you might want to consider visiting someone with a PhD and the ability to write prescriptions.

When To See A Professional

Medical Reasons For A Low Libido

If your interest in sex is falling it could be due to a medical reason. Tiredness is a common factor. Tiredness is obviously brought on by lack of sleep, but also by conditions such as anaemia and post-viral fatigue or even poor general health.

Eat well, stress less, and get more sleep for a better libido…if only it were that easy! “I always eat my greens and get eight hours sleep a night” said no-one ever.

Contraception Can Cause Female Libido Problems

The Pill, implants, coil – all methods of birth control, except condoms, can cause female libido problems as a side effect. This is because they alter the amounts of estrogen and testosterone – yes, women have some levels of testosterone too!

If you’re feeling different since you started a new contraceptive, go back to your doctor to discuss it.

Don’t be shy! An alternative medication might not have the same dampening effect and could bring back the spark between the two of you in a matter of days.

Female Libido Problems Due To Aging

As we get older our bodies inevitably change. We get wrinkles, sagging, grey hair or no hair at all. Changes also happen on the inside too. As a woman ages, her hormone balances vary. Oestrogen, the hormone that promotes fertility and sex drive, drops.

This drop is usually the start of the menopause. Sometimes it drops suddenly, but with others, it’s a gentle decrease, so gentle in fact that it might be a while before you realize you haven’t felt ‘up for it’ for ages.

Female libido problems are often reported alongside the menopause, but women who have not yet started the menopause may also start to suffer from a lower sex drive.

Life’s cruel! If this is happening to you, get yourself to the doctor because there are many treatments that can help you along.

Female Sexual Disorder

Pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson identified the symptoms in the 1960s, and gave it a name in their publication Human Sexual Response (Masters & Johnson, 1966).

Since then, others have improved upon the research which still continues today.

Female sexual disorder is certainly not in the imagination, and it’s not perceived latent lesbianism either. Some women do have female sexual disorder, and it’s no joke.

To receive a medical diagnosis of female sexual disorder your symptoms must give distress. That’s more than being ‘frigid’. A term men might use if women aren’t sexually interested in them.

In the USA it’s estimated that 43 % of women suffer from sex related disorders, and in the UK the NHS suggest that 50% of women are affected by sexual problems. That’s half the population – half the women you know. Female sexual disorder is not a back seat driver. It’s affecting a LOT of women.

The Symptoms Of Female Sexual Disorder

There are a lot of symptoms, and research keeps throwing up more. It’s case of the more we know, the more we realise we know nothing. Sex and the psychological response creates new questions every day. There’s no limit to amount of neurosis we have about sex!

Here are the officially recognised symptoms.

This describes a low libido or a sex drive that’s gone AWOL (or never signed up). It’s a full on lack of desire. You’d rather watch a Friends box set (That is BAD).

  • Orgasmic Disorder

This means that you can’t orgasm, or really struggle to get there. This category also includes women who could orgasm but have lost the ability to do so. Not fun.

  • Inhibited Sexual Desires

A ‘meh’ attitude to sex, with sexual apathy and disinterest in anything related to the trouser department. You can take it or leave it.

  • Pain

Sometimes called Dyspareunia. This can result from a dry vagina or Vaginismus. This is an involuntary contraction of the vagina. You literally spasm and tighten up, making penetration impossible.

What Causes Female Sexual Disorder?

There are three main categories. Psychological, physical and chemical. We’ll start with psychological…

Often people don’t realise how important mental health is. We throw terms like crazy, mad, hysterical around without thinking about what they actually mean.

It’s pretty much guaranteed that everyone you know has said ‘I’m depressed’ to describe feeling a bit miserable about something, like coming back from holiday.

We treat these terms lightly; perhaps we shouldn’t. Untreated depression is a known cause of female sexual disorder.

Clinical depression (diagnosed depression) isn’t the only mental strain that causes sexual problems. Anxiety and stress, both short term and long term, can have devastating effects on your libido.

It seems that whatever happens in your head travels down to your genitals like a weird Mexican wave that you can’t stop.

Anyone with a history of sexual, mental or physical abuse might find that female sexual disorder rears its ugly head. No matter how long ago, our memories and mental images trigger physical responses that don’t tend to go away without professional help.

If your attitude to sex goes deeper than going off your partner, then a sexual health counsellor is a good idea.

If there is past trauma, such as abuse, you really ought to seek professional help. Your doctor will support you, or you can look for a counsellor independently.

Physical Reasons For Female Sexual Disorder

If someone is unhealthy, then female sexual disorder can result. A poor diet that has led to obesity needs addressing. Humans are programmed to reproduce in optimum conditions, so if you are not at your physical prime, your libido drops.

That’s a throwback we won’t get rid of in a hurry; it’s already been thousands of years. The same goes for long-term illness, such as diabetes, arthritis, or anaemia to name a few. Bad health often means a bad libido.

The age-old passion-killer called childbirth is a known reason for female sexual disorder. It’s likely that nature has programmed women to avoid sex when they have young children, to ensure their survival.

It would be easy for a sabre-tooth tiger to run off with a baby if the mother was busy with a new pregnancy. On a more physical level, damage to the vagina causes a sex drought.

No-one likes to be touched or shoved in a delicate area. Children have a lot to answer for!

Chemical/Hormonal Reasons For Female Sexual Disorder

Hormone levels drop throughout a woman’s lifetime, not just around the menopause. These hormones are essential for a libido, and female sexual disorder may be a reaction to falling hormone levels.

A regular menstrual cycle also causes ups and downs in the bedroom (not the good type). You may find that one week you’re up for it and the next you’re not.

Medicines can have much the same dampening effect as illicit drugs and alcohol too. Numerous side effects can cause female sexual disorder. Antibiotic can cause nausea; anti-depressants can cause an inability to orgasm. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

Blood tests will show your estrogen and testosterone levels, so get these checked out. In fact, a check up is a good idea anyway.

Ask your doctor for a once over. If any imbalance is identified, then you can start on some treatment. Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT, can be a revelation to users.

A sudden return to that late teen horniness can be quite shocking. Put your phone down, the surgery isn’t open this late!

Another category not often mentioned as an influence on female sexual disorder are social and cultural influences. Religious obligations or beliefs can subdue a sex drive, as can feelings of guilt.

We won’t inquire into what you might be feeling guilty about, but if you harbour feelings of regret, guilt, or embarrassment about your conduct, then you won’t get in the mood. We aren’t judging – just pointing it out.

Did you know that the word ‘hysteria’ comes from the Ancient Greek for uterus? Hippocratic doctors of the day believed that the womb went wandering around the body if a woman didn’t get enough sex.

Looks like female sexual disorder symptoms were identified a long time ago. Thankfully, this Ancient Greek myth did not stand up to scientific investigation.

Female sexual disorder is certainly not a myth, so get some support if you need it. Hercules however….he was REAL.

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

The good news is, if you are struggling with low libido, it can be turned around. Whether the problem is a mental or physical one there is plenty of support out there.

Compliments, less stress, and a good lube go a long way to boosting your morale and attitude towards sex. Female Libido problems can be conquered, so if your sex life is missing in action, take some steps to reclaim your relationship.

Instead of feeling unhappy with your low libido, try out these female libido enhancers. If you take the time to look, female aphrodisiacs are all around you.

We haven’t even spoken about music, colors, mindfulness or shopping yet, which is a shame, as these can all be powerful for some women.

There simply isn’t enough room here to talk about everything that might get a girl in the mood. Good sex is key to a good life. The Romans knew it, and we all know what they did for us!

About Deon Black

Sex toy expert & reviewer. Since 2012 we've spent 60,000+ hours testing 1,000+ sex toys. Author of 47 hours - helping men last longer in bed.

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