Open Marriage and Relationship Statistics (2023)

Are open marriages becoming more popular? How many open relationships fail? Do men want open relationships more than women?

We spent days reading and collecting open marriage and relationship statistics. We’ve collected all the scientific data, stats, and facts to answer all these questions for you.

Let’s dive in!

• Open Marriage Statistics (Top Picks)
• How Many Americans Have Open Marriages/Relationships?
• Why Do People Want to be in Open Relationships?
• What Percent of Open Marriages End in Divorce?
• Do Men Want Open Relationships?
• Are Open Relationships Healthy?
• What Do Psychologists Think of Open Relationships?
• Are Open Couples Happier?
• What is the Surprising Truth About Open Marriages?
• What Are the Risks of an Open Relationship?
• What are the Disadvantages of an Open Marriage?
• How Many Partners Do They Have?
• Why Are People Against Open Marriages?
• Is it Adultery in an Open Marriage?

Open Relationship & Open Marriage Statistics (Top Picks):

• 4% of Americans are in an open relationship (consensual non-monogamy)
• 8% of Americans report having cheated (non-consensual non-monogamy)
• 20% of Americans claim to have been in a non-monogamous relationship at least once in their life
• 67% of American women would break up with their man if he asked them to be in an open relationship.
• 46% of American men would break up with their woman if she asked the same question.
• Millennials are the most interested in open relationships, with a 41% rate. Followed by 29% of Gen Z, 23% of Gen X, and 12% of Boomers.
• 52% of people that identify as LGBTQ are interested in an open relationship compared to 39% of heterosexuals.
• People in open relationships get tested for STIs more often than people in monogamous relationships.
• Monogamous and non-monogamous individuals report similar levels of attachment avoidance, stress, and feelings of being lonely.
• Women and men in open relationships are happier in their everyday life than their monogamous counterparts, but less happy in their marriages.
• People in consensual non-monogamous relationships use contraceptive methods more than couples in monogamous relationships or people who cheat.
• Consensually non-monogamous individuals have an average of 6.41 sexual partners in their lifetime compared to the 3.86 average of monogamous.
• 6 USA states have fornication laws that make sex outside marriage illegal (not enforced).
• 18 USA states have adultery laws that make open marriages illegal (not enforced).

Sources

How Many Americans Have Open Marriages or Relationships?

What percentage of people are in open relationships? How many couples have an open relationship? How common are open marriages?

Open marriage and open relationships data are aggregated. There are no studies that differentiate between the two.

Let’s find out:

• • 4% of Americans are in open relationships (consensual non-monogamy) compared to 8% of US adults who claim to have cheated (non-consensual non-monogamy)
  • 1% of Americans (50+ years old) claim to have been in an open relationship at least once in their life.
  • 38% of lesbian, gay, and bisexual (non-heterosexual) individuals have engaged in either non-consensual or consensual non-monogamy, mostly in the form of open relationships.
  • A different study reports the percentage of Americans that engaged in consensual non-monogamy at least once in their life as high as 20%

Why Do People Want to Be in Open Relationships?

Why do people want open marriages? Why are so many people in open relationships now?

• The main reasons for people to choose open relationships are the sense of excitement, sexual satisfaction, and overall happiness they hope to derive from it.
• Other reasons for people to desire open relationships:
  • They think it will bring more joy and happiness
  • They think it will bring more pleasure and orgasms
  • Partners have mismatched libido
  • They believe they can love more than one person at once

Sources

What Percent of Open Marriages End in Divorce?

Do open marriages last? What percentage of open relationships work? What percentage of open marriages are successful? Do open relationships fail more?

Let’s look at the numbers:

• Some research suggests that 92% of open marriages end up in failure.
• 55% of US adults claim that they would break up with their partner if they wanted to be in an open relationship (consensual non-monogamous).
• 67% of American women claim they would leave their man if they expressed their request. 46% of men would break up with their woman for the same request.
• The southern region (USA) has the lowest tolerance for open relationships with 60% of adults claiming they would leave their partners for it:
  • 60% South region (lowest tolerance for open relationships)
  • 58% West region
  • 55% Midwest region
  • 49% Northeast region

• 71% of adults aged over 50 would leave their partner if they wanted a consensually non-monogamous relationship.

Sources

Do Men Want Open Relationships?

Do men want open relationships more than women?

We have already seen how many people are already in open relationships/marriages.

Let’s take a look at how many people would like to be in one according to a recent poll organized by YouGov in 2021:

• 68% of Americans said they would not be interested in an open relationship
• 26% of US adults said they would be interested, 6% said they don’t know
• 32% of men claimed to be very interested in open relationships compared to 19% of women
• 30% of married men claimed to be very interested in open marriage compared to 21% of married women

Full data:

• Men:
  • 32% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 61% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 7% – Don’t know
• Women:
  • 19% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 74% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 6% – Don’t know
• Married Men:
  • 30% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 65% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 5% – Don’t know
• Women:
  • 21% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 75% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 4% – Don’t know

Sources

Interest in Open Marriages by Age

Millennials are the most interested in having a consensually non-monogamous relationship (or open relationship).

Millennials have the highest interest (41%) in open relationships, with Millennial men more interested (45%) than Millennial women (35%) in having a non-monogamous consensual relationship.

Here is how different generations compare:

• US adults:
  • 26% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 68% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 6% – Don’t know
• Baby Boomers (born 1955 – 1964):
  • 12% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 84% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 4% – Don’t know
• Gen X (born 1965 – 1980):
  • 23% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 72% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 5% – Don’t know
• Millennials (born 1982 – 1996):
  • 41% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 50% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 9% – Don’t know
• Gen Z (born 1997 and later):
  • 29% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
  • 59% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
  • 12% – Don’t know

Interest in Open Marriages by Sexual Orientation

We have seen the interest of US adults of different ages in open relationships, now let’s focus on interest based on sexual orientation.

46% of Americans that identify as LGBTQ have stated an interest in open relationships, compared to the 22% interest by heterosexual Americans.

The highest percentage of US adults that identify as LGBTQ and that are interested in having an open relationship is mostly LGBTQ Millennials (52%)

• Americans that identify as LGBTQ and are interested in open relationships (consensual non-monogamous relationships)
  • 52% – LGBTQ Millennials (born 1982 – 1996)
  • 42% – LGBTQ Gen Z (born 1997 and later)
  • 43% – LGBTQ Gen X (born 1965 – 1980)
  • 30% – LGBTQ Baby Boomers (born 1955 – 1964)

Putting together all data across different generations and sexual orientations:

• US adults
  • Heterosexuals:
    • 41% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 50% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 9% – Don’t know
  • Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other
    • 29% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 59% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 12% – Don’t know
• Generation Z
  • Heterosexuals:
    • 26% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 62% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 12% – Don’t know
  • Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other
    • 42% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 50% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 8% – Don’t know
• Millennials
  • Heterosexuals:
    • 38% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 54% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 8% – Don’t know
  • Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other
    • 52% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 40% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 8% – Don’t know
• Generation X
  • Heterosexuals:
    • 20% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 75% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 5% – Don’t know
  • Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other
    • 43% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 52% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 5% – Don’t know
• Baby Boomers
  • Heterosexuals:
    • 11% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 86% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 4% – Don’t know
  • Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other
    • 30% – Very interested / Somewhat interested
    • 66% – Not at all interested / Not very interested
    • 3% – Don’t know

Data from YouGov 2021 is based on a survey of 23,194 US adults 18+.

Sources

Are Open Relationships Healthy?

Is an open marriage healthy? Are open relationships toxic? How healthy are open relationships?

It turns out that open relationships are just as healthy as monogamous relationships.

Let’s take a look at what science says:

• US adults engaging in non-monogamous consensual relationships report the same levels of sexual satisfaction as their monogamous counterparts.
• Open relationships appear to be as robust, healthy, and satisfactory as monogamous relationships, according to a survey of 348 people conducted through M Turk (sources below).
• The psychological and emotional mechanisms that affect relational and sexual satisfaction are similar for both consensual non-monogamous and monogamous individuals.

Sources

What Do Psychologists Think of Open Relationships?

Ok, they show the same level of sexual satisfaction, but what do psychologists think?

• Individuals in open marriages/relationships show the same levels of loneliness, attachment avoidance, and stress as monogamous individuals.
• Individuals in open marriages/relationships showed a lower level of psychological stress compared to people in other types of relationships.

Very different data for one-sided non-monogamous relationships!

• Individuals in one-sided open relationships showed higher stress levels (psychological stress, attachment avoidance) compared to people with monogamous or consensually non-monogamous relationships.
• Individuals in one-sided non-monogamous relationships showed drug and drinking abuse in the 2 months prior to the research.

Here are the full results of the test (Hangen, Crasta, and Rogge, 2019):

Psychological distress, loneliness, and attachment avoidance were measured on a scale from 1 to 4:

• 1= never
• 2= rarely
• 3= sometimes
• 4= always

Outcomes:

• Monogamy:
  • Attachment avoidance – 2.37
  • Loneliness – 2.31
  • Psychological distress – 2.29
  • Heavy drinking/drug use – 12.70%

• Open Relationships
  • Attachment avoidance – 2.25
  • Loneliness – 2.34
  • Psychological distress – 2.24
  • Heavy drinking/drug use – 15.70%

• Partially-Open Relationships
  • Attachment avoidance – 3.01
  • Loneliness – 3.04
  • Psychological distress – 2.70
  • Heavy drinking/drug use – 37.50%

• One-sided Open Relationships
  • Attachment avoidance – 3.06
  • Loneliness – 2.79
  • Psychological distress – 2.44
  • Heavy drinking/drug use – 34.10%

• People in open relationships display similar levels of STIs as the general population. This result was probably due to the safety measures taken.
• STI History among Non-monogamous individuals
  • Tested for STIs – 77.5%
  • Diagnosed with an STI? – 20.1%
  • Positive for chlamydia – 10.2%
  • Positive for gonorrhea – 1.1%
  • Positive for syphilis – 1.1%
  • Positive for herpes – 3.2%
  • Positive for hepatitis – 1.1%
  • Positive for trichomoniasis – 2.2%
  • Positive for HPV – 7.0%
  • Positive for HIV – 0.5%

Sources

Are Open Couples Happier?

The previous studies showed that being in an open relationship is equivalent to being in a monogamous relationship in terms of psychological health. But what about happiness?

Does being in an open relationship bring more happiness or stress to the individual? Who is more jealous and who has a better connection?

According to the studies below it seems that monogamous couples are slightly happier.

• People in monogamous relationships are happier than people in non-monogamous relationships. (Monogamous rated their happiness 4.45 out of 7 versus 3.99 out of 7 for non-monogamous). (Levine et al., 2018)
• People in monogamous relationships have higher sexual satisfaction (3.62 out of 5) than people in non-exclusive relationships (3.17 out of 5). (Levine et al., 2018)
• 50 bisexual women in open relationships revealed that their marriage somewhat improved after they started consensual non-monogamy. (Dixon, 1985)
• 80% of women in consensual non-monogamous relationships claim their compatibility with their husbands to be excellent or good, and 76% claim to be sexually satisfied. (Avvo, 2016)

Here it gets interesting:

• Married older men (55+) in a monogamous relationship were found to be happier than their non-monogamous counterparts. (Fleckenstein and Cox, 2015).
• Married older women (55+) in monogamous relationships were found to be less happy than their non-monogamous counterparts. (Fleckenstein and Cox, 2015).
• Monogamously married men were reported to be happier than men in open marriages, while monogamous married women were reported to be less happy than women in open marriages. (Fleckenstein and Cox, 2015).
• Happiness in marriage: 1 = Not Too Happy, 2 = Pretty Happy, 3 = Very Happy.
  • Open relationships/marriages
    • Total – 2.52 (Pretty Happy)
    • Males – 2.50 (Pretty Happy)
    • Females – 2.56 (Pretty Happy)
  • General public
    • Total – 2.59 (Pretty Happy)
    • Males – 2.66 (Pretty Happy)
    • Females – 2.53 (Pretty Happy)

(Fleckenstein and Cox, 2015)

Sources

What is the Surprising Truth About Open Marriages?

• Monogamously married men were reported to be happier than men in open marriages, while monogamous married women were reported to be less happy than non-monogamous women in open marriages.
• According to a study published in 2019, non-monogamous consensual couples live under the same roof more often than monogamous couples.
• Older people (55+) in open relationships reported a higher level of happiness than the general population.

Sources

What Are the Risks of an Open Relationship?

Is there jealousy in an open relationship? What are the risks?

One risk of being in a non-monogamous relationship is the safety factor. After all, engaging with multiple sexual partners increases the risk of STIs.

• Swingers have the highest rate of STIs compared to the general public according to a study.

But it turns out that individuals in non-exclusive relationships are more careful than individuals in monogamous relationships.

Here’s what the data says:

• Non-monogamous individuals are more likely to use condoms and test for STIs than monogamous individuals. (Levine et al., 2018)

Full data about STI testing and condom usage organized by relationship type over the previous 6 months:

• 7% of monogamous individuals had an STI test.
• 17% of open-relationship individuals had an STI test.
• 14% of non-consensual non-monogamy individuals (cheating) had an STI test.

HIV test (previous 6 months):

• 8% of monogamous individuals had an HIV test
• 16% of open-relationship individuals had an HIV test
• 15% of non-consensual non-monogamy individuals (cheating) had an HIV test

Condom usage vaginal sex (previous 6 months):

• 1.46 out 10 times monogamous individuals used a condom
• 3.43 out of 10 times open-relationship individuals used a condom
• 1.94 out of 10 times cheating individuals (NCNM) used a condom

Condom usage anal sex (previous 6 months):

• 1.78 out 10 times monogamous individuals used a condom
• 4.60 out of 10 times open-relationship individuals used a condom
• 1.23 out of 10 times cheating individuals (NCNM) used a condom

NCNM = Non Consensual Non Monogamous.

(Levine et al., 2018)

Sources

What Are the Disadvantages of an Open Marriage?

What might be the cons of having an open marriage? What are the disadvantages of open relationships?

There are a lot of opinions about open relationships both for and against them. In this section, we will take a look at the risks and benefits of open relationships.

• 80% of people in open relationships face jealousy. (Wilkie, 2020)
• Jealousy leads to frustration, dissatisfaction, and even abusive behavior. (Doll, 2021)

• Disadvantages of open relationships and open marriages:
  • High risk of jealousy, stress, mental health, and self-esteem issues
  • Emotional pain by knowing your partner is spending intimate time with someone else
  • Chance of developing a loss of libido or an addiction to sex
  • Higher risk of contracting an STI
  • Risk of pregnancy by a secondary partner

(Fournier, 2021)

Sources

How Many Partners Do They Have?

• Non-monogamous men and women were also more likely to have concurrent partners during the same period. (Lehmiller, 2015)
• Non-monogamous US adults have had an average of 3.24 sexual partners in the previous 6 months compared to 0.61 of their monogamous counterparts.

As expected people in non-monogamous relationships (non-exclusive relationships) have more sexual partners than people in monogamous relationships.

Let’s find out more:

• Adults in open relationships (non-exclusive consensual relationships) reported an average of 6.41 lifetime partners compared to monogamous persons, who had an average of 3.8 sexual partners in their lifetime. Note that the standard deviation was high for both groups, which means the data is very spread out (above or below the average). (Lehmiller, 2015)
• Married individuals in open marriages have been with an average of 3.37 sexual partners versus 0.86 of the general public (all married individuals).
• Women in open relationships had sex with an average of 3.08 partners compared to 0.49 average of women in the general public.
• Men in open relationships had sex with an average of 3.37 partners compared to the 0.77 average of men in the general public.
• Divorced people in open relationships had sex with an average of 3.22 partners compared to the 0.56 average of men in the general public.

Sources

Why Are People Against Open Marriages?

We know well that some people are pro and some are against open marriages. This often comes down to a moral issue and prejudice.

But let’s see what the studies say:

• 49% of US adults say if they were single they would never date a married person
• 40% of US men say they would never date a married woman
• 59% of US women say they would never date a married men
• 56% of US adults are against open marriages
• 64% of American women are against open marriages and relationships
• 47% of American men are against open marriages and relationships
• People in the south region of the USA are the most against them
  • South region – 60% of people are against open relationships
  • Midwest region – 58% of people are against open relationships
  • West region – 53% of people are against open relationships
  • Northeast region – 49% of people are against open relationships
• 69% of single US adults over 50 years old are morally against open relationships

(Avvo, 2016)

The majority of people are against open relationships but why? Here’s the data according to one worldwide survey. (Conley et al.)

• The main reasons against open relationships are jealousy, moral inferiority, and the risks of STIs.
• Participants were asked to rate the reasons why they believed a monogamous relationship is better. Here’s what they found:
  • Monogamous relationships build trust – 3.00
  • They provide connection and closeness – 2.95
  • It’s socially acceptable in our society – 2.90
  • They promote a sense of respect – 2.78
  • You can rely on them – 2.76
  • They increase physical safety – 2.58
  • Provides stability to those involved in the relationship – 2.54
  • Prevents jealousy – 2.53
  • Is morally superior to other relationships – 2.30
  • Prevents the spread of STDs/STIs – 2.12

Sources

Is it adultery in an open marriage?

Yes, and it’s illegal in 18 USA states (Wisconsin, Kansas, New York, Idaho, Arizona, Michigan, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Georgia, South Carolina, North Dakota, Illinois, Utah, Virginia, Minnesota, Florida, Massachusetts, and Alabama). These 18 states have Adultery laws, which you break if you’re married and have sex with another person other than your spouse.

6 USA states (Illinois, Mississippi, Idaho, Utah, Massachusetts, and South Carolina) even have Fornication laws, which make sex outside marriage illegal.

None of the two above are enforced, so don’t worry young people reading this before a date, you will be fine.

Sources:

• PubMed,
• Avvo,
• ResearchGate,
• VeryWellMind,
• PubMed,
• Avvo,
• PubMed,
• E-counseling,
• YouGov Poll,
• The University of Michigan,
• CNN,
• PubMed,
• Healthline,
• Salon,
• Sage Journals,
• Taylor & Francis Online.