How to Last Longer in Bed in 2024 | Stop Premature Ejaculation

how to last longer in bed

Few things in life feel better than having wild sex with a girl for an hour or more. It just feels so fulfilling and satisfying, that feeling that you have given it your all… lying in bed, exhausted.

I have completely mastered this area of my life and I learned how to last longer in bed a long time ago. I wrote a step-by-step program that will take you by the hand (not the hand you use to masturbate, but the other one) and help you solve this problem.

  • The good news is: having sex for as long as you want is possible.
  • The bad news is: there are no shortcuts!

As you’ve fallen down Google’s rabbit hole seeking ways to last longer you’ve surely come across sprays, pills, and various quick fixes with carefully crafted narratives on their side. And the temptation to buy them is normal.

Humans seek comfort and the path of least resistance in life and that’s why non-FDA approved sprays and pills proliferate the market. Large corporations (and their teams who seek to exploit your weaknesses) know this and manipulate you accordingly.

Ah… exploiting human nature, what a fun world we live in!

Note: I’m talking about random pills/sprays/creams you buy on sketchy-professional-looking websites. If it’s your doctor that suggested the pills to you, then listen to him!

Why Do You Want to Last Longer in Bed?

You’re probably reading this because you’re tired of your mediocre sexual performance in bed, or maybe you think she’s secretly Lily Allen-ing about it and you’re scared of losing her.

lily allen song about premature ejaculation

It’s important to start off by saying that becoming a sexual master requires a specific frame of mind; certain attitudes and beliefs.

Your actions start with your beliefs. Change your beliefs and your actions will change.

I made a quick video below giving you 3 mental tips that will help you approach this journey the right way.

Shameless promo: Imagine your girl lifting her eyes in awe while you pound her for 25 minutes straight like a wild animal. Imagine her screaming your name. This is my everyday life. And I wrote a program to teach you the same. I’ve tested it out with countless girls over the past 8 years.

What is Premature Ejaculation?

If you don’t last for as much time as you want, this is what people call premature ejaculation (here’s Harvard’s definition).

Some relationships are seriously affected by premature ejaculation as this NIH study shows and this one as well.

My favorite definition of premature ejaculation comes from the American Urological Association. They say that premature ejaculation is when a person ejaculates sooner than they would like. So if you want to last for 50 minutes but you ejaculate after 45, you suffer from premature ejaculation.

Of course, this is a bit exaggerated, but the point is that you want to be in control.

Studies define lifelong premature ejaculation as a problem starting from the time of your first sexual experiences and acquired premature ejaculation as starting later in life when you previously had no issues. The difference is in the onset of symptoms.

Lifelong is normal. But if you have the acquired version, please do check for biological causes with your doctor. More on this below.

So what is causing you to come quickly?

I will explore the topic in-depth in this epic guide to lasting longer in bed.

I decided to go the nerd route and find many academic journals on the topic for you to enjoy. Yikes. Throughout the article, I will link to them (and will also shamelessly link to my program a few times).

Get your nerd glasses on and let’s get started!

Be Average or Be Extraordinary

One important thing to remember, as I mention in my program, is that all men have the tendency to ejaculate quickly for evolutionary reasons.

In the past, the faster you could impregnate a woman meant there was a higher chance you would make babies and grow your tribe. Humans are animals (or half-animals/half-gods as I see it) after all, and when you look at other animals having sex, how long do they last?

Some couples are perfectly fine with quick sex. This is mostly due to ignorance on the topic: they think there’s nothing you can do about it. Their limiting beliefs are in control of their lives.

The (Sad) Myth Of Average Duration in Bed for Man

According to various studies, sex lasts between five to seven minutes on average, but (like studies in the book The New Naked show), 50% of men do not even make it to two minutes. Oops!

The saddest part about this research is how people assume that average is good.

But is it?

This reminds me of that South Park episode where the city Mayor officially reduces the official “average penis size” to make people feel good about themselves, keep them quiet and stop rebellions. If you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty funny, Season 15 Episode 4, you’re welcome.

penis size chart

Using a similar narrative as South Park’s Mayor, a study from Canadian and American Sex Therapists, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine defines sex lasting between 3 to 7 minutes as “adequate.”

The questions that pop into my head are:

  • Adequate for what purpose?
  • Would you prefer an adequate girl or a beautiful girl?
  • Would you prefer an adequate life or a great life?
  • Would a girl prefer a guy who lasts an “adequate” amount of time or a guy who gives her a run for her money?
What is “adequate” for a scientist is NOT what is sexy, hot, attractive, masculine, and irresistible for women.

and

What is “adequate” for a scientist is NOT what is fulfilling, satisfying, and gratifying for men.

So, unless you have problems with ejaculation during foreplay or can’t sustain sex for more than 30 seconds, your performance is officially considered medically normal.

If that’s what you’re after, good, you may have achieved your goal of being medically normal.

now thats sexy

Just a quick note: a recent study from Social Science and Medicine shows that a woman needs at least 13 minutes to reach orgasm. Not that you have to care about it. Just saying.

Yes, you have fingers and a tongue. Yes, I know that. But you also have a penis, just a quick reminder.

Anxiety Loops Affect How Long You Last in Bed

According to psychologists, the causes of premature ejaculation are to be found in the psychological and psychophysical spectrum.

One of the biggest problems is anxiety. In particular, anxiety about your sexual performance is linked to premature ejaculation.

Likewise, stress and depression also increase the chance of prematurely ending sexual intercourse. Men can also experience premature ejaculation at greater levels if they have a negative self-image or if they have been sexually abused.

The problem with all this is that it’s a never-ending cycle. You are stressed because of how long you last in bed (or for other reasons) and this causes you to prematurely ejaculate.

The premature ejaculation will in turn create more performance anxiety and the cycle is likely to repeat itself.

Stressed Meme

How do you break this cycle?

There are many studies showing that the brain cannot distinguish between a real experience and a vividly imagined one.

One very helpful tool is to use this power of visualization to your advantage. And in my program we got that covered because I give you step-by-step exercises to re-wire your brain for success.

This is a perfect solution if you don’t have many girls to practice with, don’t have that much sex with your girlfriend or don’t have any girls at all at the moment.

More on this later, let’s go one step at a time!

Premature Ejaculation Causes: Mind VS Body

mind versus body

Let’s take a look at some common psychological causes of premature ejaculation. I won’t go into details about the physical ones because I am not a doctor. If you find your issues in the list of physical ailments below, please consult with a doctor to rule them out.

5 Psychological Causes of Premature Ejaculation

1) Worrying about how quickly you climax can affect how long you last in bed

worry meme

Being worried/nervous is by far the most common psychological cause of premature ejaculation among men, especially young men.

Worrying about ejaculating actually leads you to ejaculate quickly.

As I mentioned previously, it’s a negative, self-fulfilling feedback loop. We’ll look into solutions for this down below in this article.

2) Self-image is important

self image

Self-image matters. A LOT!

Having a poor self-image will negatively affect your life, including your performance in bed.

One great book on the topic of self-image that I wholeheartedly recommend to you is Psycho-Cybernetics. Another good one is the audio book Zero Resistance Living, both by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.

Doctor Maltz was a prominent American plastic surgeon. He studied the effects that plastic surgery had on people’s behavior and their success in life.

In his research, he discovered that what made the difference was not the physical changes in his patient’s faces or bodies, but rather the change in self-image caused by the surgery.

He quickly realized that the external surgery was completely unnecessary, and his patients would see the same improvements in confidence and attitude in life as long as they had “mental plastic surgery” and changed their own self-image.

According to Dr. Maltz, you can only act in a way that is congruent with your self-image.

Changing your self-image will help you change what you can do. Believing in yourself, in your value and your capabilities is the foundation of your success in bed. Give it a try!

3) Depression:

Depression and premature ejaculation get along. Multiple studies suggest that preventive treatment of depression can reduce the risk of premature ejaculation.

4) Early sexual experiences:

Sexual abuse either as a perpetrator or victim.

5) Relationship Problems:

If you’ve had sexually satisfying relationships in the past it could be that relationship issues between you and your current partner are contributing to the problem.

Biological / Physical Causes of Premature Ejaculation

Please consult a doctor to rule out any of the following. Only a qualified doctor can speak on the issues below. I wouldn’t trust any website on this.

  • Infection of the prostate
  • Abnormality in hormone levels
  • Abnormality in brain chemicals
  • Health issues like diabetes
  • Damaged nerves in the pelvic area
  • Obesity
  • Damaged veins and arteries
  • Smoking, drinking
  • High cholesterol
  • Low testosterone levels

How to Last Longer in Bed: 9 Techniques

shortcut to success

The best way to learn how to last longer in bed is to train for it. Just like anything else worth doing in life, it takes some time. But for those of you who are after quick tricks and shortcuts, I will list a few here. They can be a good starting point.

1) Confidence will help you last longer

I am relaxed meme

If you start having sex thinking about a negative outcome or that you might come right away, then the worst will happen. Insecurity makes you anxious and that affects your performance.

Calm down, you are not taking an exam! The problem with many guys is that they feel pressure, as if the girl is there to judge them…

Will she judge you? Yes of course she will. And you will judge her too.

Should you care? No.

How do you practice this confidence in bed?

Variety, experience, abundance: The easiest way is to improve your dating skills and sleep with so many girls that you stop giving a sh*t about it, which will naturally make you relaxed and confident. This is a very effective strategy and it works.

NLP and current confident areas: If you’re in a monogamous relationship, a trick is to think of areas of your life where you feel confident (maybe work or some sport) and adopt that same attitude when you have sex.

I’m not going into details here, but there are many Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques like the Swish pattern for example, that can help you transfer that feeling of confidence from one area of your life to another.

You can do them on your own. Don’t get tricked into paying thousands of dollars to those lame “NLP practitioners” that claim they’ll do it for you. A Google search for “NLP resourceful states” will give you plenty to have fun with.

Physiology: You can also go the easy way of “faking it until you make it.” You can change your physiology and the way you move and act in bed, pretending to be confident. If done properly this is the easiest way and will bring your brain into a confident state of mind.

In my program that I keep pushing throughout this article (because I know it will actually help you), I go into more detail about this topic. Specifically, it’s in the bonus book included with my program for free.

Self-Talk: The way you talk to yourself also has a huge impact on your confidence.

I could go so much more in-depth about the topic of confidence, since it’s  one I am really into. But for the purpose of this article, I will just mention an epic book on the topic of self-talk: the Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey.

Other ways to increase confidence have to do with working out, eating healthier, improving your style, and grooming (all of which are just tricks to help you change your self-image – as described above). I don’t like those because they rely on externalities, but why not, use them as well and see what works best for you.

2) Breathe better to stop premature ejaculation

relax breathing

When you are tense and stressed, you tend to take short, shallow breaths. The cells oxygenate poorly, and the body does not respond as it should. Breathe, fill the lungs well, and do not stay in apnea.

But beware that this tip is a double-edged sword.

While breathing better will help you relax before sex, which is in turn connected with point number 1, it doesn’t always work in practice during sex.

The theory is that breathing allows pleasurable sensations to flow through the body rather than staying stuck in your genital area. But some people feel the sensation in their genital area even more when breathing deeper. So you gotta test it out for yourself.

But also be careful not to exaggerate with your breathing, otherwise you risk hyperventilating!

Moderation.

3) Switch stimulation and you’ll last longer

switching sex positions

Your penis is not the only tool you have in your arsenal. Any part of your body can become a weapon with huge erotic potential.

How can this help you last longer? Simple. The next time you are making love with a girl and you feel like you are about to climax, but it is still too early… stop for a moment, squeeze your Kegel muscles and continue to stimulate her with your hands or mouth.

Kiss her, caress her, and when you are about to start again, switch positions. Make it a big switch. If you were laying down, try standing up and having sex that way.

Of course, you can stimulate her clitoris with your fingers during the times when you’re not inside her.

In the US, a survey about orgasms was carried out that involved 1,055 women. Of them, only 18% said penile penetration alone was enough for orgasm. About 36% of them required clitoral stimulation for orgasm during sex.

4) Kegel exercises can help you last longer

kegels recommendation

According to this study, Kegel exercises are one of the best ways for men to extend the duration between the start of intercourse and ejaculation.

In my program, I go into detail about pubococcygeus exercises. But for the sake of simplicity in this article, we will focus on the classic exercises you may have read about elsewhere.

You can locate your “Kegel” muscles by stopping the flow of urine or by making your penis move up and down when it’s erect. That’s the muscle you’re going to train.

The problem with Kegels is that some people who have no idea what they’re talking about (and just recycling “internet wisdom”) will tell you that Kegels are all you need. The truth is, they are not.

They can help, but only if you have the right mindset and approach to sex. They won’t change anything if you go into sex with fear and insecurity.

But they do something, so what happens most of the time is that the person starts doing Kegels, and this gives them a tiny bit more confidence when they approach sex.

Kegels do contribute to some tiny improvement as this PubMed study shows, but they mostly work as a placebo effect to induce confidence.

As the user starts doing Kegels and “expecting” an improvement, their Reticular Activation System is looking for confirmation of that belief.

As some guys wrote thousands of years ago: “Seek and you shall find.”

The users notice little improvements and this gives them more confidence in bed. As they feel more confident, they relax. And it’s this confidence and relaxation that over time start generating improvements, not so much the actual Kegels.

Tips for performing Kegels

squeeze me

  • During the Kegel exercise, the belly and thighs must remain still.
  • If ejaculation has already started don’t try to stop it. You can hurt yourself.

Basic exercise:

Contract the pubococcygeus muscle for 1-2 seconds before releasing it. Repeat 20 times each day, three times a day. Do this for three weeks.

Second exercise:

The second step is to add 10 slower and longer contractions. Hold for 5 seconds, then slowly release. Repeat 10 times.

Third exercise:

The third exercise is done during masturbation. You have to stop ejaculation thanks to the contraction of the pubococcygeus muscle.

Start slowly, then build up to a certain level of arousal, then stop masturbation, and simultaneously contract the pubococcygeus muscle.

Take a breath, let some excitement pass, and then start slowly again. Increase the speed to the peak of arousal, stop again, contract the muscle and take a deep breath.

Continue for 15 to 20 minutes, disconnecting each time you are reaching a peak of arousal higher than the previous one.

Make sure to keep the arousal level low enough and increase it slowly… but always keep it under control. If you lose the moment and ejaculation has already started, don’t try to stop it or you’ll send your semen back inside, which is bad for you.

Note: Kegels are good for women as well, as this study suggests, so feel free to train together with your partner.

Mastering the techniques for controlling this muscle is not difficult. It requires a commitment of a few minutes a day, but must remain constant over time.

5) Reverse Kegel exercises

meme confused

Reverse Kegel exercises work by relaxing the Bulbocavernosus (BC) muscle, which is the muscle located at the base of the penis, as well as the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle.

Learning to relax these muscles will help you control ejaculation and let go when you decide. This will help you last longer.

Reverse Kegels are a bit more complicated than classic Kegels. It may be difficult to find the exact position of the muscles and even more difficult to understand how to move them correctly.

The best way to identify the correct muscles is to learn how to do normal Kegels first.

Reverse Kegels involve the same muscles but in a different way.

How to do reverse Kegels

Do this initially while masturbating and then try it out during sex. The procedure is the same in both cases.

  1. Start masturbating by trying to keep your stomach and legs relaxed as much as possible.
  2. Now increase the pace until you feel the excitement rise. At this point, you will have to try to keep the muscles of the penis relaxed.
  3. When you feel you are in full control, increase the pace, the excitement and do the same movement again as before.
  4. Gradually increase the pace until you reach a greater level of excitement than before, but without letting it get the upper hand.
  5. Continue this exercise for at least 20 minutes until you feel you are in full control of the situation. You can repeat this exercise 2-3 times a week until you find that you are able to perfectly relax your muscles and control ejaculation as you please.

6) Edging is gold

Premature ejaculation can be cured – naturally. Forget about sprays and numbing creams, practice Edging, and take charge of your life.

There are three main reasons why you want to start Edging.

First of all, Edging will make you aware of your PONR (point of no return), second, it will push back your ejaculatory threshold by building resistance in your body, and third, it will build mental strength over your urge.

Your PONR (point of no return)

Discovering your PONR is essential, especially from a mental and motivational point of view.

When you are able to feel your PONR, you become responsible for your ejaculation.

It’s easy to complain about premature ejaculation when you feel like it “just happens” to you, but when you learn to feel your point of no return things change forever.

Next time you’re having sex, if you feel your PONR but instead of stopping keep stimulating, and go over it, you are consciously choosing to prematurely ejaculate and can’t blame anyone for it.

Responsibility is essential.

Taking full responsibility for what happens in your world is the first fundamental step to transformation. If you don’t feel responsible for your results you can’t change them.

Edging Can Save You 10 Years of Your Life

The second reason why you want to start Edging is that it will push back your PONR by raising your ejaculatory threshold.

If you have premature ejaculation you’re likely to have a low ejaculatory threshold. A little bit of stimulation and a low level of arousal is enough to make you reach your PONR and climax.

A lot of people (especially those older than you) will tell you that all you need is time and practice and that by growing older you’ll naturally become able to last longer in bed.

Well, thank God you were born in this amazing time where you can learn anything quickly if you’re willing to put in the effort.

A consistent practice of Edging will save you from having to “learn by experience”. Instead of wasting your best years suffering from premature ejaculation with the “appealing” idea that one day when you’re 75 you’ll be able to last longer, you can accelerate this process with the practice of Edging and enjoy long intercourse now – no matter how old you are.

Master Your Urge to Ejaculate

Generally speaking, you are not allowed to ejaculate at the end of each Edging session but you can usually ejaculate every two or three sessions (depending on your age).

This is hard.

When you’ve masturbated and taken yourself close to ejaculation for 20-30 minutes, being able to pull up your pants and move onto something else without ejaculating requires loads of willpower.

In this way you learn how to become stronger than your biological sensations, stronger than your urge basically, and this will help you become a man in control.

Remember you are absolutely not repressing your arousal but you’re on top of it: you feel it, your body is craving an ejaculation but you’re mentally cool.

How to Execute an Edging Session

First of all, in order to Edge, you need privacy for at least 20-30 minutes, and since one of the causes of premature ejaculation is the bad habit teenagers have of masturbating in a rush (to avoid their parents catching them or entering their room), you want to make 100% sure you’ll have at least half an hour to yourself before starting.

Also, if you haven’t yet, get one of these today. They feel like a real vagina, are perfect for edging, and will noticeably speed up your improvements.

Basic Edging:

1) Stimulate yourself until you get an erection. While you do, be attentive and feel every sensation in your body (especially in your pelvic floor).

2) Using some silicone-based lubricant, stroke your penis starting from the base and slowly moving towards the top (avoiding the fraenulum and the glans at the beginning).

3) When you feel you’re getting close to your PONR, start moving down the shaft again and completely stop when you reach your PONR (or when you’re about to reach it).

4) While you wait for your arousal to subside, feel every sensation in your body and take slow deep breaths. Be a man, face your sensations, feel them fully – don’t run away from them.

5) When the sensation of imminent ejaculation has disappeared, restart the process again.

6) After 20 minutes of Edging, stop, put your pants on and do something else.

Congratulations, you have completed a session of basic Edging.

Practice this simple basic Edging session for about two weeks before expecting to see any improvement in your performance.

Edging is not a one-stop solution, but only the beginning of serious ejaculatory control training. There are many other physical and mental aspects you need to tackle to achieve absolute mastery in bed and of course, there are more advanced types of Edging as well as I describe in my training program The 47 Hour, but Edging is probably your best first step, besides quitting watching porn of course, but this is a whole other story.

Sometimes you’ll miss the PONR and ejaculate, that’s normal and part of your learning curve.

Take it easy and keep practicing. With time you’ll sharpen your attention skills and become able to feel the subtlest sensations in your body and everything will become clearer and easier for you to manage.

Following the training in The 47 Hour you’ll naturally develop the ability to feel every phase of the ejaculation process in detail and instinctively pause, slow down or accelerate according to the feedback your body gives you. This is the level of sexual mastery that will totally transform your sex life as it did for me and many other men.

As I always say to my students, think big but start small.

7) Change your diet to control premature ejaculation

drinking responsibly

With diet, we’re already entering the realm of “general sexually beneficial tips” more than actual “techniques”.

Changing your diet won’t do any miracles but as they say, every bit helps.

Eating a lot of vegetables or fruit has sexually beneficial effects. A study by Yale University found that omnivores (and therefore meat-eaters), actually have less energy than those who eat only vegetables.

Vegetarians, therefore, are “supposed to” have longer-lasting sex. I disagree.

I, for example, eat meat and have sex like an animal for 1+ hours. So this definitely doesn’t apply to me. But I do eat a lot of bananas.

Bananas are a superfood. Spinach, carrots, avocado, and tomatoes are sex’s best friends, not to mention the famous and exciting chili. Bring a breath of fresh air to your kitchen and you may see results in the bedroom too.

Nutrition can affect your sexual performance and sperm quality too, according to this study, so it’s time for you to place more priority on what you eat.

Alcohol

I wrote an article many years ago about the worst tips for lasting longer in bed. Drinking alcohol as a way to relax for sex was one of them.

The subject of alcohol is a bit delicate due to the many conflicting narratives around it. I am not gonna get into it. I personally don’t drink. You want to drink? Cool, do what you want.

In the long run, alcohol can lower testosterone levels and give you a weaker sex drive and recurring sexual performance problems.

The solution is simple: only consume alcohol in moderation or avoid it entirely.

8) Don’t use retardant condoms

dont do it

Look at yourself in the mirror. Look into your own eyes. Are you really going to anesthetize your own penis before having sex?

Some of these condoms act through mild anesthetics such as benzocaine and lidocaine, others through natural methods such as herbs, cold effect gels, or the particular shape and structure of the condom.

Even more stupid than retardant condoms are retardant creams, sprays, and oils.

When you put a retardant condom on an erect penis, benzocaine comes into contact with the mucous membrane of the glans and reduces its sensitivity as an anesthetic substance would.

9) Don’t use a penis ring

I don’t recommend this because it’s a gimmick you don’t really need.

Penis rings are a fun accessory that you can use, but you’re better off learning to last longer on your own, without gimmicks. Once you’re able to last longer, feel free to try out a toy. It will be more fun to use if you don’t have a need for it. I’m giving you options, and options are everything in life.

How to Last Longer in Bed With These 7 Sex Positions

sex positions new

Credits @ myself: https://letstalksex.net/free-erotic-photos/

Switching up positions while having sex can help you last longer.

Of course, I assume you are already switching positions, otherwise your relationship would be so boring  that I’d be surprised if anyone still wanted to sleep with you.

What I am talking about here is switching positions “strategically.”

Most men change sex positions based on what they like most. Doggy style, cowgirl, etc. It’s their penis doing the thinking, rather than their brain.

This is normal, again, as a monkey man’s goal is to have a baby and the better the view (doggy example) the easier you’ll get excited and come, thereby achieving your objective.

But ask yourself, are you planning to have a baby tonight?

If the answer is no, you have to thwart your primitive impulses and use a more rational strategy.

strategy idea

Next time you are having sex, pay attention to which sex positions trigger you to ejaculate faster and which ones help you last longer, and switch accordingly during sex.

Does this mean you cannot enjoy your favorite sex positions anymore?

Absolutely not.

You can still… in fact, you can enjoy them more than ever before. You enjoy it until you feel you’re getting closer to your PONR (point of no return) and then switch to a position that’s not so powerful. Then you switch back as soon as you’ve calmed down.

Below is a list of common sex positions to try out:

1) The cowgirl position: Lie on your back, let your partner straddle and ride you like those bulls at the amusement park.

2) Sit on the throne position: Sit on the chair with your partner’s back facing you, allow her to slowly lower herself, and enter her as she sits on your lap. This renders you unable to thrust deeper and faster, letting her do all the work, inadvertently reducing premature ejaculation.

3) Non-penetrative missionary: Do the missionary position without penetration. Rub your shaft against her clit and vulva. This will speed up your partner’s arousal and keep yours balanced.

4) The 69 position: This is a great position as very few can climax while in this position. Lie on your back, have your partner place her knees on the sides of your shoulders. Have her give you a blowjob while you eat her out.

5) The spoon position: This is another sex position that gives room for only shallow penetration. To achieve this, you both lie on your sides and face each other. Your partner raises a leg to let you penetrate and then closes her legs preventing you from thrusting deep. It also keeps you relaxed which helps with premature ejaculation as we mentioned multiple times!

6) Inverted elevator position: This position is also known as standing 69 and a good one for lasting longer. If your partner is light enough, and you’re strong enough, pick her up around the waist while facing her and twist her around. Wrap your hands around her middle to support her, and she can give you a blowjob while you eat her out.

7) The crouching tiger position: Sit on the bed and let your partner straddle your thighs. This is very similar to reverse cowgirl. It is easier to delay your orgasm this way, and you will find yourself lasting longer in bed.

26 Additional Tricks and Tips to Last Longer in Bed

The following are a bunch of tips and tricks. Tricks will only get you so far, but maybe that’s exactly how far you want to go.

tricks

1) Focus on your partner: Take a step back and shift the focus to your partner. This slows your impulse to ejaculate quickly while escalating your partner’s pleasure.

2) Engage in cardio-oriented exercises: How many hours do you dedicate to exercising? Improving your cardiovascular health may not bring instantaneous success, but improving your health habits, especially your heart, positively affects every fiber of you, including how you have sex. Your physical appearance and good health can help build your confidence, improve your sex life, and decrease anxiety. Some cardio exercises include playing basketball, swimming, jogging, biking and tennis.

3) Focus on foreplay: We prefer sex much more than foreplay. This also has an evolutionary rationale: fingering doesn’t make babies. But spending more time on foreplay warms up your partner and builds a stronger bond and she will most likely come faster. Try some foreplay in the middle of intercourse as a way to take breaks and reduce your arousal levels.

4) Masturbation: The longer a guy goes between orgasms, the more his body craves it. This pent-up desire makes it all too easy to climax. This is wonderful when you think about it, but only if you don’t ejaculate too soon. Some find it extremely helpful to masturbate and orgasm right before sex so the built-up sexual desires won’t be too strong, allowing you to last longer.

5) Change your sex lifestyle: Sex isn’t just penetrative. Spice up your sex life with your partner; indulge in foreplay, invest in sex toys, try out different and exciting positions. Your sex life should be fun, spontaneous, and downright passionate.

6) Consider counseling or psychotherapy: Therapy can include cognitive, behavioral, and psychodynamic approaches to premature ejaculation. It involves learning to manage the effects premature ejaculation may have on you, your partner, and your relationship.

7) Medication: Another solution is tackling premature ejaculation with medications. There is a lot of trash online. Here’s my tip: talk to your doctor face-to-face and ask him about this. Don’t trust any online pill or medicine. The only person who is allowed to give you medications, pills, sprays, or creams is your own trusted doctor after a face-to-face visit.

8) Hormone Check and Therapy: Although rare, hormonal imbalance may be a factor in your premature ejaculation. Do a testosterone-level check. If you have low levels, you should consider hormone therapy under your doctor’s supervision. Testosterone plays a role in controlling your ejaculatory reflex.

9) Cut down on alcohol and other drugs: Alcohol and hard drugs can cause premature ejaculation and other performance problems, so avoid alcohol and drugs before sex, and try to cut down your usage generally.

10) Settle with one partner for a month or two: Try settling down with just one partner for the time being. Intimacy with one person can be a good workout and teach you skills you can use in the future on other girls.

11) Be patient: Instead of getting angry and fretting, learn to relax and be patient with yourself, your partner, and the entire process.

patience

12) Give slower movements a chance: Taking your time can help you last longer, so try to enjoy the ride and not rush to the destination. Sex can be sensual, passionate, and even romantic. Note that this doesn’t work for everyone. Some people seem to get closer to orgasm when they move slowly. Test it out.

13) Practice breathing exercises: Slow your breath once you feel close to climaxing as this can lower your arousal level. Hold your breath for two or three seconds, then let it all out. Breath like this until you no longer feel like climaxing.

14) Try the squeeze method: To do this, withdraw from your partner once you feel close to ejaculation, then gently squeeze just behind the balls using your fingertips, wait a few seconds and re-start your sex again.

15) Practice pelvic floor exercises: Exercising the pelvic muscles helps you last longer. One of the best ways to exercise your pelvic floor is Kegel exercises. First, locate your pelvic muscles, then tighten them for some seconds, relax these muscles and repeat at least five times. Breathe normally.

16) Buy and wear a thicker condom: You can buy condoms that are thicker to reduce sensitivity.

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17) Use a lot of lubricant:Lube helps you last longer in bed. Rubbing a lot of lube on your penis will act as a sort of covering or glove. It will also reduce stimulation and help delay climax. Same with saliva.

18) The testicle-tug technique: Your testicles get tighter to your body when orgasm is near but a great way to last in bed is to give your scrotum a sharp downward tug when you are close to climax. Hold your scrotum and sharply tug it as it loosens your sac and brings you back from climax.

19) Avoid the blame game: Be optimistic and positive and don’t blame anybody else.

20) Treat yourself well: It is easy to experience self-hate when you’re down but remember to cheer yourself on. You are doing a fantastic job, and you deserve a pat, not a slap. Maybe she deserves a nice slap…

21) Take breaks: You do not have to have sex for thirty minutes straight; you can take mini breaks to sustain the tempo. Pull out and kiss your partner, talk dirty if you’d like. Just take breaks.

22) Sex doesn’t end with climax: Sex is not just about orgasm. Clean yourself (if you want) and keep going. It is likely that you will get another erection in 15-20 minutes and last longer than before this time.

23) Never go into the bedroom with a failure mindset: Dispel nervousness as it can create negativity and stiffness in the bedroom. It is a recipe for sexual failure and disaster and leads to ejaculating too quickly.

24) Make your sex fun and exciting by introducing games: Truth or dare, dirty confession games, and kinky sex games for you and your partner can help build intimacy in the bedroom.

25) Eat lots of fruits and try scientifically proven home remedies: Stuff like zinc supplements, magnesium, and foods like oysters, soybeans, yogurt, almonds, sesame seeds, beef and lamb, kidney beans, garlic, peas, dark chocolate are all nutritionally beneficial for sex.

26) Practice yoga or mindfulness. Practicing yoga or mindfulness will help you become more aware of what’s going on in your body, allowing you to feel the arousal growing and ultimately giving you more control.

FAQ About Lasting Longer and Premature Ejaculation

Is premature ejaculation common? All men experience it at some point in their life. 30% to 40% of men recognize it and look for a premature ejaculation treatment. The remaining 60-70% live the rest of their lives in oblivion.

How is premature ejaculation diagnosed? Premature ejaculation is diagnosed through medical and sexual history. Your doctor may ask questions about it, and a physical test could be carried out.

Can premature ejaculation be treated? In most cases, premature ejaculation can resolve itself, but in some cases, therapy and other procedures could be carried out.

How long is long enough? Long enough is subjective. How long do you need to have sex to feel satisfied and good about it? That is long enough. There is no official timing, but anything under two minutes hints at a problem.

Why can’t I last longer in bed? You probably have no awareness of your sensations, no strategy, and no training.

Are there medications to help men last longer? Yes, there are drugs, sprays, wipes (most of these products are scams) so if you do go that route, ask your doctor, please. Don’t take the initiative.

Do “last longer condoms” work?
Not really. It’s more of a placebo effect. And if they do work think how sad it is that you need to anesthetize your penis to have sex. It’s unacceptable.

When should I seek help?
Talk to your doctor if premature ejaculation occurs frequently and nothing else seems to help.

What questions will my doctor ask me?

  1. How long have you been sexually active?
  2. How often does premature ejaculation occur?
  3. How long does it take to ejaculate during sex and masturbation?
  4. Do you or have you ever taken drugs that affect sexual performance?
  5. When did premature ejaculation become an issue?
  6. Have you had sexual encounters where your ejaculation was normal?

What is performance anxiety? Anxiety and panic caused by the thoughts of performing badly. If you worry about performing badly when you want to have sex, you have performance anxiety, which often leads to premature ejaculation.

Does premature ejaculation affect my general health? Premature ejaculation has no long-term effect other than disappointment and frustration, but you’d better talk to your doctor in case it’s a symptom of something worse.

Will I last longer as I grow older? It is not the case for all men, but studies have shown that some men ejaculate prematurely less often as they grow older.

What can I do to last longer? First, you have to become aware of your body and reactions to sex, from start to finish. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Train. Use my program.

What if none of these tips work? Remember that sex is about you and your partner and that you do not have to thrust and penetrate to please your partner sexually. There are sex toys, you can put your fingers to work or please her with your tongue.

More resources to learn how to last longer in bed:

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Avatar for Deon Black About Deon Black

Deon Black has spent over a decade helping millions of men worldwide improve their sexual wellness through expertly crafted reviews and guides. With firsthand experience testing over 1,000 male sex toys and dedicating more than 60,000 hours to research, Deon is committed to providing accurate, unbiased, and practical advice. His work is grounded in transparency, expertise, and a mission to enhance confidence and pleasure for every reader. Learn more about our team and review process.

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