How To Use A Butt Plug – You Can’t Just Shove It In, Guys

Because of the insane nature of my job, I’m finally getting paid to talk about butt stuff. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

That won’t be one I put down in my yearly review in the family newsletter.

Ass play has not only become less taboo, it’s almost become…dare I say, vanilla? Everyone’s doing it: gay couples, straight couples, your mom and dad on your dad’s birthday…

And because so many of us are interested in learning more about this, let’s talk about that shit. Let’s dip our toes into it with something simple: butt plugs!

What are they? Who uses them? Who has them? Who wants them? What the fuck do you do with them?

The answers to all of that, and more – including whether it’s your mom or your dad who wears the butt plug – in the following paragraphs.

Tonight on LTS:

What The Hell Are Butt Plugs?

A butt plug is an anal toy that is used for anal play. It’s a small object, usually slightly pointy (but rounded at the tip) that is meant to be inserted into the anus. The most common materials it can be made out of are:

Silicone

Silicone Rump Rider

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calexotics silicone rump rider

This isn’t really your standard butt plug shape. In fact, it looks a bit like some of the vibrators we’ve talked about before; you know, the ones shaped like tongues? Instead of being short and stocky, this one is long and thin. Depending on how you look at it, it can be vaguely terrifying, like a Grim Reaper claw reaching into your butt hole, or a sensual toy tickling your innermost pleasure points. Bonus on this one is that it has a handy suction cup, so you can mount it on the shower wall and go to town on yourself while your hands are free to do further exploring, or to actually have a shower.

Glass

Crystal Butt Plug

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crystal butt plug

I’m afraid I’m biased on this one, because glass butt plugs are my favorites – not just because they feel great, but because they’re absolutely beautiful. Now, there are tons of gorgeous swirly ones that I wanted to include, but they’re more suited to butt plug-ers who’ve had time to adjust to this form of playtime. So, I’ve gone for something Basic+. Basic shape, non-threatening, and unobtrusive, but not size Small, but Medium. For when you need something thicker. Plus, it’s called a “crystal” butt plug, how decadent is that?

Plastic

Basics Slimline Butt Plug

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basic slimline butt plug

I know everyone hates plastic now and it’s supposedly evil, but this one isn’t one-use, so it’s ok. Non-recyclable, though. This is your very basic, beginner-friendly butt plug. Small, cute, purple, made out of a comfortable material, it’s designed especially with newbies in mind. If I had to pick one word to describe this, it would be…inoffensive. Which is what you want, I think, when you’re not used to this yet.

Jelly

Orgasmic Gel Butt Plug

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orgasmic gel butt plug

I like this one because it’s made out of jelly, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a very butt-friendly material. Especially if you’re not quite well-versed into anal play, this can be a soft gateway into harder stuff. Take that in every sense of the word.

Even better, this thing vibrates, and it’s waterproof. Again, if you’re having trouble with the feeling-good part of butt play, shoving a vibrator up there can be a real game changer. I firmly believe that there’s very little in the world that cannot be solved with a good vibrator.

Wood

FST Wooden Anal Plug

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wooden butt plug

That’s right, it sounds terrifying, but butt plugs (and sex toys, in general) CAN be made out of wood. If you’re imagining splinters up your butt – I sure did – not to worry, it’s exquisitely sanded down and smoothly finished, so you won’t have to take a pair of tweezers to your anus to pluck out errant splinters like that time you thought butt fucking yourself with a rolling pin was a good idea.

Anyway, this will obviously be quite firm, so if you’re only getting started, maybe save this one for later. If you’re bored of the soft jellies and silicones, then have at it!

And yes, you can use it even if your name is not Pinocchio and you’re a real boy or girl.

Stainless steel

Frisky Ass Spinner Anal Plug

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Frisky Ass Spinner Anal Plug

If you thought wood was hardcore, brace yourself for an indestructible butt plug that Transformers probably use – stainless steel. Has anyone ever needed a fucking stainless steel butt plug? Absolutely not. But if you want one, this is your guy. Why not be decadent – and fucking cold! – and treat yourself to a hunk of metal plug to shove up your arse?

Would you believe that’s not the stupidest thing about this toy? No sir – it’s the fact that it’s called Frisky Ass Spinner and it’s literally an anal fidget spinner. That’s right, folks, you shove it up there and give it a spin. I…I give up.

One VERY IMPORTANT point we will really hammer home later is that any butt plug you use needs to have a flared base.

Why?

Because your butthole will literally swallow it, otherwise. I know the face you’re making.

Anyway, butt plugs come in different shapes and sizes and are obviously meant to offer pleasure to the wearer, and we will discuss its uses a bit further down. Patience, y’all.

 

What Do You Do With Them? That Name Cannot Be Literal, Right?

I’m afraid so, Linda. You can literally plug your butt with this – and wear it, plug it in only to then pull it out, or play with it in and out to your heart’s content.

Does it sound sexy? Plugging your butthole.

Ehhh, no.

But it can be sexy. If that’s something you’re into.

Butt plugs are also used for anal training. Yeah, kind of like an asshole workout prepping for the main event: anal sex. If you’ve never attempted anal penetration, that shit’s gonna hurt, so you need to work on it for a bit beforehand to stretch (yes, literally) the use of this exit to accommodate entrance. You can use your fingers for that, or a (series of) butt plug(s).

Who Can Use Them?

As a lady interested in anal play and possibly in experimenting with butt plugs, you may be a bit apprehensive.

This is no longer vanilla, right? Does this make you kinky? Can you even use one? Should you? Do you need a certain type of asshole? Do you need to do anything before?

Some of these questions will be answered further down, but for now, I suggest asking yourself a series of simple questions:

1) Do I have a butt hole? ✅

2) Am I interested in anal play and shoving stuff up my ass?

3) Am I patient?

4) Am I willing to study up on this?

5) Am I ok with the fact that it may not be pleasurable on the first try?

6) Am I willing to put in a little time and effort to give this a fair go?

If the answer to those questions is “yes”, congratulations – you can use a butt plug!

 

Isn’t That Like… Dangerous?

Not if it’s got a flared base!

And if it’s made out of a body-safe material, is the right size for you, you use it under the appropriate conditions, and you abide by the DANGER ZONE list at the bottom.

It sounds like a lot of rules to follow, but most of that is just common sense. If you decide to dry-shove a baby carrot up your arse, I can’t help you with that. You’re beyond help. Enjoy your trip to the emergency room.

Inevitable disclaimer: Look, I’m not a fucking doctor, so I can’t guarantee that playing with one of these things is ok for you. Always check with your doctor, especially if you’ve got weird butt issues or whatever, ok? It’s always good to check.

How To Use A Butt Plug

Part 1 – How Do I Prepare For This?

a) Go to the bathroom

There is no non-awkward to address this, so I’m going to have to just come out and say it: before you stick anything up your butt, make sure to take a shit. Make sure you’re running on empty. You don’t want any surprises. After that, you can move on to the next step.

b) Cleansing

If you’re thinking about going in through the backdoor, then there’s going to be some hygiene prep you’ll have to do. If a full enema is too hardcore at this stage (you might need one if you want to attempt anal sex – again, ASK YOUR DOCTOR before you attempt some weird DIY enema shit), some basic cleansing might still be necessary. Not only to make sure your toys remain unscathed, but for your own enjoyment, as well.

I’m only saying this because the sight of your own shit all over the butt plug might kill your sex drive. It sure did mine.

c) Training

If you choose the right size, you shouldn’t have problems with the butt plug fitting or being inserted without pain. However, it’s certainly a…special sensation that you haven’t felt before, so you’ll want to get used to it. You can try to prep your asshole by using your fingers for a bit. Start out with one finger, and then you can graduate to 2, or 3, or whatever you can handle. Keep in mind that the butt plug might still feel differently.

Fun tidbit: did you know that some porn actresses use butt plugs as training for upcoming anal sex scenes? They’ll put the plug in and then go on to sit for make-up or whatever. I guess the make-up artist doesn’t think it’s awkward?

d) Lube. LUBE. Luuuuuuuube

The most important lesson to learn here if you’ve never attempted ass play before, is that it’s a completely different game than vaginal penetration. You NEED lubricant.

Here’s why: for better or worse, the vagina is a self-lubricating organ (it’s also self-cleansing – vaginas are magical). That means that while lube can certainly help, it is not necessary for every woman, especially if you have zero issues getting wet.

The enormous difference is that the asshole does not benefit from any sort of natural lubrication. The anal cavity doesn’t secrete any fluids to help with friction, the actual asshole is bone-dry, and unlike the vagina, the only thing that comes out the backside is…well, you know.

What that means is that lube is NON-NEGOTIABLE. Use it. Use a lot of it.

Another thing to remember here is that while your regular lube will do, there is special anal lube you can look into, if you’re really keen. Anal lube has a different kind of viscosity and texture to it than vaginal lube, in order to best suit anal play.

e) Choose the right size/shape

Listen, you can’t just go online and pick a random butt plug; there’s gotta be some thought put into this. Not only in terms of material – which we discussed earlier – but also in terms of size. Your experience will vary vastly depending on how well you pick out your butt plug – especially your first one.

The average person will be comfortable with something around 0.75” to 1.25” – any larger may cause discomfort and may affect your enjoyment. You can also select several sizes in order to ease yourself into accepting and being comfortable with girthier objects down there. The easiest way is to get a pre-made training kit (or an inflatable plug) because it already contains the products selected for your needs.

Adam & Eve Glass Anal Training Trio

see it

glass training trio

This set is just one of the ones available for this purpose, and it contains three sizes from 1.15” to 1.55”, so that you can start small and work your way up. This trio is made of glass, but there are other ones available made of jelly or silicone, depending on preferences. The shape is standard – larger base and a tapered tip for easy and safe insertion. No bells and whistles on this one, but that’s ok, you don’t need that yet. For now, focus on adjusting and becoming comfortable, you can always venture into more exciting stuff later.

f) Do it yourself/with a partner

Obviously, like any toy, butt plugs can be used on yourself, or on a partner (and by a partner). This is up to your preferences and intentions. If you’re a bit apprehensive and feel safer handing the hard work over to your partner, that’s certainly an option, as is being a control freak and doing it yourself, or just having a nice solo wank and playing explorer with your own butthole.

Depending on whether you’re alone or with a partner, you may need to switch positions for the easiest insertion. But we’ll address that in detail when explaining butt plug usage step by step. If you are allowing your partner to use the butt plug on you, make sure they know to go slowly and gently. There should be constant communication between the two of you and you should definitely signal when something feels good or not or what they should change about their approach.

Allow me to demonstrate:

  • “Push a bit more gently, please”
  • “Hmm, that feels good”
  • “That hurts a bit”
  • “That hurts a lot”
  • “You can apply a bit more pressure”
  • “OW NOT THAT MUCH PRESSURE”
  • “Try sliding it in and out for a bit”
  • “Okay stop, just stop”
  • “WTFFFFF”
  • “OMG is that my mum just parking her car….?”

Part 2 – How Do I Use This?

Step 1: Be aroused

Something I feel is EXTREMELY important and somewhat obvious, but still something that managed to fly right over my head the first time I attempted ass play is that you need to be in a proper state of arousal for this to be a pleasant experience.

Otherwise, all you’ll be able to feel is how uncomfortable you are, this weird position you’re in, that the lube is wet and cold (btw if the lube is icy cold you can warm it up by spitting on it or by squishing it in your hand…), and your asshole usually isn’t, and that it hurts a little bit. Okay, now it’s hurting even more. OW OW IT HURTS A LOT. And then you take it out.

Don’t be that person.

Just like with any other time you’re attempting sex, you have to first make sure you are ready and willing for this. You need to be relaxed, aroused, comfortable, and eager to try this out. That means putting in the effort to get to that state of arousal, so engage in a little foreplay, either with a partner, or by yourself.

If you’re with a partner: Have them kiss you, kiss your neck, touch you in your soft spots, massage your ass, give you oral, whisper dirty things to you, massage around your asshole, etc. I mean come on you should know this shit…

If you’re alone: Close your eyes and imagine something arousing, watch porn (or read it), watch Ryan Gosling doing something sexy (even just standing there will do), touch yourself, massage your asshole, maybe use a different toy, like a vibrator to get your motors running.

Ryan Gosling Meme

Once you’re revved up, you can add in something new up your you-know-what.

Step 2: Be in the right position

Position is very important, because it can make the difference between an experience that is pleasurable, painful, or just…meh. You know when sex is just…meh, and you fake an orgasm just for it to be over? We don’t want you to have to do that. This isn’t to say you’re going to 100% cum from the butt plug, especially not on your first try. Sure, it *can* happen, in theory, but…it won’t.

Anyway.

Positioning will differ depending on whether you are playing alone or with a partner. Different strokes and all, so let’s take a look at the most convenient way to take a butt plug or have one inserted.

Playing by yourself

  • On your back, legs spread in the air

on your back legs spread in the air

Playing with your own ass is an exercise in comfort, access, and convenience. That means that while inserting it while you’re in a doggystyle position may be possible, it’s not the most user friendly if you’re alone. The most basic and comfortable way to do it is on your back, with your legs up and spread. That means your asshole is right there, ready for the taking.

You won’t be able to see how it goes in (unless you use a mirror, or the front-facing camera on your phone! Feel free to add some snapchat filter or some blurring if that makes you feel better; you want your asshole to look like a movie star), but you’ll get a pretty good idea from feeling it and being able to see the plug.

  • Standing up, one leg up

standing up one leg up

As a lady, you will be well familiar with this position if you’ve ever used tampons. You’re naked, standing up; bend a bit forward, and lift a leg up on the bed, window sill, bathtub, etc. Only instead of pushing a tampon up your hooha, you’re pushing a butt plug up your ass. The leg up is important, because it enables access to all of your entrances.

Of course, this position can also work with a partner, if, for example, you’re standing up, they’re on their knees in front of you, and you have a leg on their shoulder. Or if they’re on their knees under you eating you out from behind.

  • On your knees

on your knees

A personal masturbatory favorite, being on your knees in bed allows for very good access to everything you need. Especially if you bend forward a bit, push your butt up, and spread your legs enough to ensure both comfort and access, you should have no issues inserting fingers, butt plugs, or even dildos in your ass once you’ve built up tolerance for that.

Playing with a partner

  • On all fours

on all fours

This is a pretty good and foolproof position for partnered play, because it allows a partner clear access to your asshole and it’s comfortable for both of you. Because they have such good access, it means they can pay extra attention to the details and make sure that insertion is as smooth and pleasurable as possible. They can also stimulate you in other places at the same time to increase arousal and even flip the chicken in the pan with the other hand, if necessary.

  • On your stomach, legs spread

on your stomach legs spread

I love this one, because it’s comfortable, and it can be very tender and sensual. Just lie on your stomach on the bed and have your lover spread your legs. They can caress your bottom and your pussy, massage your asshole, and then slowly push the butt plug inside you. Comfort is important, and especially if you’re doing this for the first time with a partner and you’re nervous about having your ass all up in their face, this can be a good way to dip your toes into ass play.

  • On your knees on top of your partner

on your knees on top of your partner

Imagine you’re getting into a 69 position. So, your partner lies on their back, and you go on top of them, head towards their groin and business end above their face. Your knees should be resting on either side of their head. You’re supporting yourself with your arms. It’s like being in the doggystyle position, but above their face. Now, this not only gives them a prime position for oral sex, it also allows for excellent anal access.

Having your ass in their face may inspire them to try their hand (or err, tongue) at a rimjob (btw this just gave me an idea about a how to give a rimjob article – stay tuned!), or it can offer a great opportunity for a bit of playtime with their fingers or a butt plug. It especially works during 69 because you are already plenty relaxed and aroused, and pushing a butt plug in can significantly add to that pleasure, or even push you over the edge and into a full-blown orgasm.

Step 3: Apply LOTS of lube. No, seriously, way more than you think you need

Aaaaand we’re back to talking about lube.

Listen, it’s one of the most important parts of butt play, so I’m going to say it as many times as I have to. Lubelubelubelubelubelubelubelubelubelubelube… You should really take your time with the lube. The best way to do it is to make it part of foreplay. Either you or your partner can take some lube and pour (and pour, and pour, and pour some more) into your hand. You can work it between your hands for a bit to warm it up and then start massaging your anus with your lubed up hands.

Your asshole should be literally dripping in lube, inside and out. If you can ease a lubed up finger up there, do that. But not before you get a manicure – you need your nails cut short and get any spiky cuticles out of the way.

Then, you’ll want to take your butt plug and cover it (no, literally cover it) in lube. Just pour a lot over it. That will ensure that not only will it slide in easily, but it will do so without pain and without any risk of creating fissures.

Yes, I said fissures.

Step 4: Use the smallest size

We’ve also addressed this earlier, but if you’re still a beginner (even if you’ve done this before), you should start with the smallest size you’ve got. Even if you’re “trained”, there is no harm in using the smallest size. You can always go bigger, if your hole allows, but once you’ve gone too big, you’re not gonna wanna shove anything else up there for the rest of the night.
Ensure your success; bigger is not always better.

Step 5: Take it slowly

Just like with the size issue, this is also a very time-sensitive activity. By that I mean that you need patience and an enduring partner, because it’s going to take a while. Butt plugs are not for quickies. Especially not if you’re a beginner.

  • Don’t use a butt plug on your lunch break.
  • Don’t use a butt plug on those “just put it in before your mother gets back!” occasions.
  • Don’t use a butt plug when grandma took the kids out for a 15-minute walk.

If you’re gonna use a butt plug, do it the right way.

Make sure to play around with the tip to get your ass used to the sensation and then start applying very light pressure forward. Your ass is going to resist, because it’s shut tight and it’s only used to things coming out, not going in. So, you are going to have to push a bit, but GENTLY.

Step 6: Tip it forward for easier insertion

Pay attention to this one – it may not be completely obvious, but it doesn’t mean it’s less important. Insertion is not as straight-forward as you may think; otherwise, this whole tutorial would be: “Step 1: insert butt plug. Step 2: profit!”.

There is an art to a comfortable anal insertion, whether we’re talking about fingers, plugs, or dildos. So, take your butt plug of choice, and hold it with the tip pointing towards the anus. Make sure to hold both the base and the shaft for maximum control. The base should be resting in the palm of your hand, and you should hold the shaft with your index and middle finger. The fingers are mostly there for support.

Now, make sure to position your hand to have the plug at a slight angle. The tip of the butt plug should be lower than the base, and your butt plug should now be slightly angled downward, instead of horizontal, if that makes sense – tip down, base up. This will facilitate an easier and more comfortable insertion. Remember this tip for when you try bigger stuff.

Step 7: Give yourself time to adjust

Okay, you’ve done it – IT’S IN! You’re done now, right? Well, not quite. At this stage, you’re probably sitting there with this plug coming out of your butt thinking “Wow this feels weird”. And it does. It may be uncomfortable, or just unfamiliar, or maybe it’s even painful. More on that at the very end. If it is painful, take it out immediately and threaten the person who put it in there with the smelly end… They will run.

If it’s merely a strange sensation you’re experiencing, give yourself a little time to adjust to it. Trust me, Homo Sapiens are not born with the ability to just take stuff up their ass. Ask Charles Darwin. Try to clench and unclench your butthole, adjust the plug if it’s not sitting quite right, etc. It’s very important that you’re in a comfortable position as well, and that you DON’T TRY TO SIT ON IT. That’ll get really uncomfortable, really fast.

If it helps, keep doing other stuff while you leave the butt plug in. Go ahead with more foreplay if you’re with a partner, or otherwise keep masturbating like you usually would. Remember to keep up that momentum from earlier; unless you’re horny, this won’t get a chance to feel good.

Step 8: Slide it in and out

It’s been inside you for a bit and you’re thinking “Hmm, I don’t hate this!”. Ready for more? Because while you can just leave it in, you can also play with it in your ass a little bit. You can add even MORE lube (really, you’ll want a new bottle if you’re gonna attempt ass play) and try moving the plug slowly in and out of your butt. Kind of like fucking your butt. With a butt plug.

At every stage of the process, ask yourself: does this feel comfortable? Does this feel good? If the answer is “yes” and there is no discomfort or weirdness, you can even try to speed up the pace a bit. If you take your time and allow yourself to naturally “graduate” to the next level, and then the next, you should have no trouble moving on to rougher play or a larger plug size. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be able to take on a full Paris Hilton…

paris hilton butt plug gif

Part 3 – What Are The Uses For Butt Plugs?

G-spot stimulation

This one may come as a shock to some – I know I was surprised when I learned about this – but playing inside your butt can actually stimulate your G-spot. How cool is that?

You’re probably scratching your head a bit at this point – isn’t…isn’t the G-spot inside your other orifice? How are you gonna reach that? Yes, yes it is, only it’s not nearly as far away from your ass as you think it is. Isn’t your body wild? In fact, if you put your fingers up your cooch right now and press against the back wall of your vagina while you put your other hand up your ass and push, you should be able to feel your fingers touching. Yes, I’ve tried it and it was neat, and kinda weird.

Anyway, because everything is so close together, it’s easy to see how masturbating through your anus can stimulate your G-spot. There are even special curved butt plugs that are meant for exactly that purpose, so if you’re shopping around, you might want to give one a try. Here’s a good one for beginners:

Lovehoney Booty Buddy Butt Plug

see it

booty buddy silicone butt plug

It looks boring af, not gonna lie, but you’re not buying this for aesthetics – that’s what the glass ones are for. This is for special stimulation only, and while that color or material is nothing to go wild over, that curve hits your sweet spot. It’s great for beginners, because it’s not too big, so you can try your hand…or err, butt at it. But experienced butt players can use it with the same great results, so there’s no reason to feel excluded. Everyone is invited to this G-spot party.

Now everything is probably starting to make sense – especially if you’re a beginner and you’re still at the stage where anal play is painful, uncomfortable, or at least strange. Next time when the thought of anal sex sends cold shivers down your spine, know that it can be pleasurable for both partners to fuck that way. It opens up a whole new door…

…I’m not going to make the backdoor joke you’re waiting for.

Anal sex training

And speaking of butt secks, butt plugs can be a wonderful precursor to that. As you already know by now, you can’t just jump into anal, because there’s a learning curve, and a training period involved. That training and prep can be achieved with your fingers, but you can also enlist the help of toys.

Butt plugs are ideal for this purpose, especially the sets with different sizes that are especially designed to make anal play more comfortable. You can start out with the smallest one and then slowly and pleasurably graduate to the next sizes, up until you are able to comfortably take the largest size, and maybe even a dildo.

That way, you’ve not only taken your time getting used to the way it feels, but you’ve also…uh, made room for something bigger and better. Plus, you’ll be more comfortable with the idea of anal once you’ve spent so much time engaging in anal masturbation. Just don’t strain yourself, ok? There’s plenty of time, and your butt isn’t going anywhere.

Prostate stimulation

But butt plugs and anal play, in general, aren’t just for ladies. Gentlemen can enjoy it just the same, and taking something up the butt doesn’t have to be gay. I always want to tell dudes “Hey, you’ve got a prostate for a reason”. I mean, they say it’s the male G-spot apparently, why would you wanna miss out on that, right? We talked a bit about that in my male sex toys article.

If that’s something the gentleman in your life is interested in, but you’re not keen on…reaching into his ass, then a butt plug can be a nice way to play together, once he’s gotten comfortable with his own ass and having fingers and foreign objects in there.

One thing I always think about when it comes to stuff like this is that anal play is one of the few things (if not the only thing) that a male and female partner can both experience in the same way. Sure, it won’t be the exact same sensation, but it’s still a shared experience and can be very special. The butthole is the one thing that brings us all together on Earth.

 

DANGER ZONE ⚠️ –
7 Things You Should Never Do With Butt Plugs

  1. Don’t force the butt plug in; if you experience pain, STOP. Just like vaginal sex, “the first time is meant to hurt” is total rubbish and dangerous. If it hurts, it means one of 3 things: you are not using enough lube, you are not relaxed enough, or the size you are using is too big. Take it out, review what you are doing and where you went wrong, and try again when you’re ready, IF you are ready.
  2. Don’t go in without training. Butt stuff isn’t something you just go for. You don’t get drunk one night and say “put it in my ass”. Before you use a butt plug…no, scratch that, before you even buy one, try lubing up your fingers first and see what it’s like. Start with your pinky, and then move on to thicker fingers as you go. When you feel like you’re comfortable with that, you can try a plug.
  3. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into ass play. Pressure isn’t sexy. It wasn’t when you were 16 and it isn’t now. I don’t care that it’s his birthday, that he’s sad, that he reaaaaaally wants it, or that his favorite porn actress does it. If you don’t want it, don’t do it. Consent is sexy, and it’s something both partners should give freely before attempting any new sex act. Otherwise, the result will not be pleasurable.
  4. Don’t use improper lubricant alternatives. Yes, I’m talking to you, in the back, who’s used olive oil and other crap before. If you don’t use the right lube, you can a) have a bad time, b) damage your anal tissue, and c) damage the butt plug. The choice is yours – listen to me, or enjoy a red and stinging butthole after you shoved your heavily scented moisturizer up there.
  5. Don’t insert anything else into your anus that was not meant to be inserted; that includes household objects, food or liquids, and yes, sex toys, if they are not specifically made for ass play. I’m not saying I’ve lost my bullet vibe in my ass, I’m saying I’ve come dangerously close.
  6. Don’t drown your ass in numbing cream; trust me, pain is your best friend – if it hurts, that’s your siren flashing red lights shrieking for you to evacuate the intruder immediately. Can you say “anal fissure”? Because that’s what you’re risking by taking pain out of the equation.
  7. Don’t try to imitate porn. You know what, I’m not done ranting about porn – whatever you do, don’t try to take lessons from people in porn. That’s your one-way ticket to a very bad sex session at best and to a hospital, at worst. Those people’s literal job is to pretend to have pleasurable, but highly unrealistic sex for arousal purposes, not sex ed. Just because that actress can shove a whole cucumber in there doesn’t mean you can, or you should.
About Deon Black

Sex toy expert & reviewer. Since 2012 we've spent 60,000+ hours testing 1,000+ sex toys. Author of 47 hours - helping men last longer in bed.

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