How To Deal With Female Libido Problems


Welcoming All Problems – CC image from Zach on Flickr

Sometimes you’re just not in the mood for sex. You’re tired, grumpy, over-worked and generally not feeling sexy.

The keyword there is ‘sometimes.’

If you find that ‘sometimes’ is becoming ‘ most of the time’, then do some research into female libido problems and get some excitement back into your sex life. Luckily for you, we’ve got the ball rolling. Here are some suggestions to help you out.

Don’t Make A Big Deal About It

One of the biggest passion-killers around is self-consciousness. You may be bumbling along, having sex occasionally and ignoring the fact your libido is decreasing, (or it’s stone dead), but if you raise the topic, will it cause embarrassment? People can be guilty of head-burying, but that’s not the way to deal with female libido problems. Instead of making like an ostrich it helps to talk about the problem. If you raise the issue, it makes sure that you face it as a team.

Talking about it also fends of that head of steam which builds up and blows when you least need it. Recognise this?

‘I don’t want to visit your parents this weekend, it’s boring AND you never want sex anymore!’

Cue a screaming match and the cold shoulder for a day afterwards. The self-consciousness that comes with female libido problems can be crippling. So don’t make a big deal about it – find a way to increase your libido together, and do so in a low key way.

Do Not Blame Anyone

Blaming your partner for an average sex life, or a disappearing sex life, is a terrible idea. Is it a woman’s fault for always having a headache? Is it a man’s fault for failing to give enough foreplay? Are you both at fault for spending too much time on the internet rather than with each other? (Yes, that one’s probably true).

Most of the time it’s no-one’s fault, but simply a medical issue that could do with some attention. Of course, spending more time together will also help.

Contraception Can Cause Female Libido Problems

The Pill, implants, coil – all methods of birth control, except condoms, can cause female libido problems as a side effect. This is because they alter the amounts of oestrogen and testosterone – yes, women have some levels of testosterone too! If you’re feeling different since you started a new contraceptive, go back to your doctor to discuss it. An alternative might not have the same dampening effect.

Female Libido Problems Due To Aging

As we get older our bodies change. We get wrinkles, sagging, grey hair or no hair at all. Changes happen inside too. As a woman ages her hormone balances vary. Oestrogen, the hormone that promotes fertility and sex drive, drops. This drop is usually the start of the menopause. Sometimes it can drop suddenly, but with others it’s a gentle decrease, so gentle in fact that it might be a while before you realise you haven’t felt ‘up for it’ for ages.

Female libido problems are often reported alongside the menopause, but women who have not yet started the menopause may also start to suffer from a lower sex drive. Life is cruel! If this is happening to you, get yourself to the doctor because there are many treatments to help you along.

Use Lubrication To Counteract Female Libido Problems

An obvious indication of a female libido problem is a dry vagina. When a woman’s vagina is drier than a summer cactus garden she needs lube. These are easily bought at a supermarket or pharmacy. They are cheap and easy to use. Alongside these standard lubes are female specific lubricants that claim to boost a flagging libido. Two on the market are Vigorelle and HerSolution Gel

These sexual arousal creams provide plenty of lubrication, but also may offer libido-boosting effects. Vigorelle and HerSolution Gel are not cheap, but they are premium lubes for women and contain no parabens. Their natural ingredients includes L-Arginine, which is said to increase sex drive by promoting blood flow to the genitals, Ginko Biloba, Wild Yam, and Aloe Vera – all said to be arousal-boosting extracts that support female libido problems.Apparently they only include botanical essences, which are less toxic to the body than fats and chemicals found in standard lubes.

If you are struggling with a low libido, you can turn it around. Whether the problem is mental or physical there is plenty of support out there. Compliments, less stress and a good lube go a long way to boosting your morale and attitude to sex. Female Libido problems can be conquered, so if your sex life is missing in action, take some steps to re-claim your relationship.

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Avatar for Deon Black About Deon Black

In the past 11 years, Deon has helped tens of millions of people around the world through his sex toy reviews and guides. Since 2012, he and his team have spent over 60,000 hours testing more than 1000 sex toys. His work & advice has appeared on websites like: Insider, Healthline, MensHealth, Wikipedia, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, Romper, WomensHealth and more. Learn more.

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